My freshers' week friend
So my first week at Cambridge, lots of events organised for us to orientate ourselves in this ancient seat of learning (get drunk).

My next-door neighbour was a contestant in the oh-so-hilarious blind date in the college bar. He turned up in a blazer, with a college scarf, and every single answer he gave - in a very plummy accent - started off normal, got odder, and ended with a crescendo to "and then I'd **** her 'til she bleeds. Raaaaaaaaah".

The atmosphere got frostier and frostier, as everyone stared at the person they'd been dreading Cambridge being full of. Thing is, I was one of the few who knew that he was a left-wing social and political sciences student with a penchant for drama who had decided this would be an interesting thing to do.

You've almost certainly watched things he's written/directed on BBC and C4, and he's even acted in a few of them, won awards from all sorts of respectable drama/film bodies. Now I just think he's a twat for being so successful/talented it makes me cry.

***EDIT*** Many guesses, but nobody close. You probably won't know him unless you're quite into film/drama/screenwriters. But if you are, you definitely would know him.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 16:43, 6 replies)

If I post a list of names, will you confirm/deny each one?
Or can you cut to the chase and just name him?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 18:42, closed)

Pretty sure it's James Corden

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 18:58, closed)

no

( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 9:54, closed)

Marcus Brigstocke.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 18:59, closed)

Nah
I went to school with him!
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:15, closed)

nope

( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 9:54, closed)

Chris Morris.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:22, closed)

This seems the most likely candidate, so far.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 20:25, closed)

he didn't go to Cambridge

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 20:39, closed)

no - too old

( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 9:54, closed)

Noel Edmonds, spinning.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:22, closed)

Jon Snow.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:23, closed)

Terry Nutkins.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:23, closed)

Edgar Wright.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:24, closed)

Rik Mayall.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:26, closed)

Danny Dyer.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:27, closed)

Miranda

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:29, closed)

George Comedyatthe.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:30, closed)

Barry Mafia.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:36, closed)

Rob Fairholme.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:37, closed)

LIES

(McChinaman banned, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 22:05, closed)

officelol

(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 12:11, closed)

Just what does it take to get stepped around here?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 19:38, closed)

You must have got close
to it with 'Danny Dyer'.

For fuck's sake.
(username failed moderation, Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:37, closed)

Peter Kay

(Eukanuba, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 22:23, closed)

TERRIBLE BULLYING OF WORMULUS!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 26 Sep 2013, 8:17, closed)