Leicester, circa 1997
I'd been out at a friend's house taking some massive drugs and I was wandering home about midnight, feeling altogether rather spacey. As I walked past Victoria Park I fancied that I could hear snatches of music on the wind from somewhere nearby. Assuming that there was probably a late gig at de Montfort hall, I didn't think much of it until I got a bit closer and saw through the trees a shining triangle of light pointing towards the sky. The music seemed to be coming from it.

"Fuck", I thought to myself. "I've finally done it. I've taken too many massive drugs and now I'm flashing back to Glastonbury or something."

Never one to miss out on a new experience I decided to investigate further and discovered that the glowing triangle was actually a free-standing, three-sided pyramid or tetrahedron made of some semi-translucent material and lit from within. Inside this structure, only faintly visible, was a band playing Stairway to Heaven. As my eyes (and mind) adjusted to this new situation, I began to notice that there were people sitting around on the grass drinking from paper cups and smoking. I must have looked a bit lost and confused, because a man approached me and asked if I'd like a cup of tea. I said that I would and he came back with a paper cup of tea so I sat down and drank it, listening to the music.

After a while I realised that while the tea was very welcome, he hadn't really explained what was going on, so I sought him out and asked: "What's going on?"

"Ah," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm from a marketing company and to celebrate the launch of the PG Tips pyramid bag, we've got ten of these 55ft tall pyramids and we're using them to play a 24-hour gig in various cities around the UK."

"Oh," I said. I had another cup of tea, listened some more and then wandered home, still feeling altogether rather spacey.

The next morning I went into university as usual and bumped into a couple of friends who lived near Victoria Park. None of them had seen anything the night before, especially not a 55ft tall glowing musical pyramid tea bag. Worried that the whole event had been some kind of massive drugs-induced hallucination I went out to the park, but found nothing but a patch of flattened grass. It was only as I was walking home that night that I spotted a photograph of the giant glowing pyramid on the cover of the Leicester Mercury, beneath the headline "Have the aliens landed? No, it's just a tea bag".

I cut it out and kept it as a reminder that no matter how strange things seem there's usually a perfectly logical explanation - in this case, that there are obviously far too many drugs in marketing.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:52, 25 replies)

Well I liked it.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:26, closed)

:) Good story.
*Clickies*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 1 May 2014, 21:23, closed)

I quite enjoyed that little tale- was wondering were it was going, and waiting for the "piss in mouth" twist. I suppose Tea is a preferable substitute.
( Ken Oath, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:51, closed)

I like the bit where a promo event in a park means people in marketing do drugs.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:10, closed)

It is how they color in so goods

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:28, closed)

a tea bag?
hah - that's just what the Tetrahedra of Space want you to think ...
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 2 May 2014, 12:02, closed)