Abduction
Walking home from the pub one night
Was pretty off my face!
I got abducted by a craft!
That came from outer space.

This ship shot down this beam of light
It made me calm and placid
It was so weird I thought my mate
Had spiked my pint with acid.

But, no, I had got beamed aboard
Some interstellar ship
It made me so damn nervous that
I almost did a shit.

The pilots of this craft came out
Was quite to my surprise!
Their head was large and round and bald
With creepy lifeless eyes.

Their skin was cold and dry and grey,
(My skin is somewhat pinker)
And so they got an anal probe
And stuffed it up my sphincter.

With telepathy, they did say
"Human, know what pain is!"
And so they got another probe
And rammed it up my anus.

They had another probe, I said,
"Hey lads, give it a miss!"
They laughed and thrust it deep into
My knackered orifice.

They passed around some whiskey
That I had a massive hit from
Because I had three anal probes
Lodged right where I shit from.

That whiskey served it job quite well
and dulled the pain as well
It got me nice and drowsy
And this place seemed less like hell.

I laughed a bit ‘cos I was drunk
And my arse was well loaded.
But then I went to have a sneeze
My fucking arse exploded.

No matter what I ever eat
I manage, like, to crap well
I maimed those Martian rapists
With my flying shitty shrapnel.

The ship was now quite damaged
And the warning lights were strobing
So whipping out my meaty cock
I started my own probing.

I went to the boss alien
said "Right now, mate, your DOOMED!"
Removed the butt-probe from his eye
And then I fucked the wound.

I shagged his ragged eyehole hard
I wasn’t really thinking
But looking back, was my first time
of extra-terrestrial squinking.

The second alien had a probe
Half sticking out its chest
I pulled it out with violent force
And, well, you guess the rest.

I looked at him right in the eye
And screamed in abject rage
With Martian blood as lubricant
Shoved cock in his ribcage.

The third alien was all dead
He was decapitated
From my arse-launched anal probe
So, neck stump I violated.

I was really cross by now
I was carrying a big gripe
Which seemed to wane as, screaming, I
Ejaculated in his windpipe.

So, aliens from outer space
Hear me, you're not deaf!
You try to probe my arse again
I'll fuck you all to death.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 8 May 2014, 7:09, 12 replies)

Spaceship spaceship spaceship
Fly fly fly

Spaceship spaceship spaceship
Sky sky sky
(Andrew Avetoom, Thu 8 May 2014, 8:45, closed)

I honestly doubt that anyone has bothered to read beyond the first couple of lines
/qotw is not conducive to good poetry.

Or interesting stories, for that matter.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:28, closed)

A persons violent rape with retribution stories belong ...

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 8 May 2014, 11:02, closed)

Sorry, I'm no good at riddles.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 8 May 2014, 15:41, closed)

Excellent work.
A man(?) after my own hearts.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 8 May 2014, 11:57, closed)

does it become any less strained and clumsy after the first couple of stanzas?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 8 May 2014, 12:33, closed)

You utter philistine
This is art. Outsider art!
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 8 May 2014, 13:03, closed)

No.
The whole things pointless, and a bit shit.
Not that you'd know anything about being pointless and a bit shit, now, eh?!?
*Winks knowingly*
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 8 May 2014, 14:27, closed)

You may have intended it to be shit
but once something is created, then it's out of the creator's hands.

If the audience thinks its art, THEN IT IS.

Look at the careers of Banksy, Ian McEwan and Mark E. Smith as proof of this.

And, also, farbok tuk tingt, bellarangosh gnengroooooo.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 8 May 2014, 14:45, closed)

My reply was to the other Dr S
But thanks for the support!
Love you!
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 8 May 2014, 15:41, closed)

What is this strange thing
called 'love' of which you speak?
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 8 May 2014, 18:13, closed)

It's a bit like windsurfing
But with more physical and emotional pain.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 8 May 2014, 18:26, closed)