Former Dole Office drone
I only worked there for a year, but this was THATCHER'S BRITAIN, and as such, we had plenty of customers.

A great many of them were fine people hit by life under THATCHER'S BRITAIN. There were a hard core, however, of people I would generally describe as the Scum of the Earth.

The nutter

My first experience of this was in my second week when I was to interview a heavily-tattooed gentleman who we knew to be claiming under false pretences and had cut off his free booze vouchers.

"Take a seat", I said.

So he did, and threw it out of the window. Which was closed at the time.

He then went out to his taxi, got an air rifle out of the boot and started taking pot-shots at the windows he hadn't already smashed.

Eighteen months, he got.

The nonce

In the third week, the Police tipped us off they were going to do a sting on the local sex offender, who they were having a few problems nailing. Could we do them a favour?

"Ah, Mr Kiddy-diddler," I said to the gentleman concerned, "We believe we've been underpaying you for the last six months. If you'd care to come into the office, we'll cut you a cheque."

So he did.

Six years for rape. Result!

The wanker

We were supposed to interview our 'clients' at regular intervals to see why they hadn't found a job yet.

"So Mr Wanker", I asked the German bloke in front of me "Why is it do you think you've not had a job for three years? Do you think it might be something to do with your name?"

"Vot are you talking about? I am a Wanker and proud!"

The interview ended there and then.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 11:18, 1 reply)

Nicely written.
*click*
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 11:51, closed)