Her Maj
I've been happily employed by HM for 14 years, sadly, over the last year or so, I've become disallusioned by the whole thing - effect on family life etc etc.

Even more sadly, the current climate in the UK means that binning a job that pays well, gives vast amounts of paid holiday and sunny trips overseas (granted, a couple of risks there) is a fairly stupid thing to do. Not only that, the prospect of leaving my warm soft pink world and getting out there frankly terrifies me.

Despite grabbing a slew of qualifications on Her Maj's tab, I still have absolutely no idea what I am actually going to do when I do finally leave. For those out there searching for jobs, all I can say is -

"JOIN THE PROFESHIONELS, IT'S GREAT! YOU CAN HAVE A GUN IF YOU WANT! AND THERE'S MONEY IN IT (NOT THE GUN). H.M. ARMED FORCES"

Seriously though, deepest sympathies (to those that want it)
(scud121, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 5:12, 15 replies)

for some reason, following the first sentance
I thought you were going to say you are in prison...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 8:29, closed)

You can't really just bin that though
can you?
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 10:15, closed)

I think most people on B3ta are lovers and not fighters : )
.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 9:36, closed)

They might love fighting though......
.
(scud121, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 10:01, closed)

Ummm - Giving me a gun would be a bad thing indeed.
I'm not violent, but I am accident prone and a bit absent minded. The words "court martial" spring to mind
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 10:28, closed)

Better court martial
than summary execution!
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 10:54, closed)

Well, they'd be giving me a gun, that fires bullets
And as we all know from numerous shootemups, army barraks are full of explosive things, like boxes of rockets and such, lying around. So they might not even find enough of me to court martial.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 11:23, closed)

knowing the apparent b3ta user:
I think a "negligent discharge" is quite likely.
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 17:39, closed)

...
That's how I was born
( mister.f is now married, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 17:59, closed)

Tell me more about these qualifications you've picked up.
My guess is that spelling wasn't a large component in any.
(Star Wars Starwarsy McStarwars Face, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 10:59, closed)

To be fair
Spelling isn't a major component in a lot of qualifications. What with it not being that vital and all.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 11:38, closed)

It is...
If you are a wizard.

(I didn't want to type that, but the god of cheese made me)
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 12:53, closed)

Wizzard, surely?
:)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 12:59, closed)

Oh Dear.
www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/hawkslane/231/yo22.html

Ctrl+F and "Army" should do it. A comment aimed at anyone over 30 and from the UK, perhaps a little obscure.
(scud121, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:15, closed)

I get it...
It's a quote from the Young ones. The episode where Vivian gets 'pregnant' with a massive fart and they decide Neil has to get a job, so they look in the paper and see the article quoted by scud121

IIRC, in the article they even spell 'great' wrong.

EDIT: I see there has been another explaining reply above. In my defence I posted mine at the exact same time ;)

Don't ask me how I remember these things.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 7 Apr 2009, 13:15, closed)