You HAVE to take up the piano.
It's not quite as RAWK as the guitar I'll grant you, but then with a guitar you don't have an orchestra at your fingertips...
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 21:17, 2 replies)

you do
orchestra ladies LOVE guitarists (this was supposed to be a 'fingering' type joke, but i'm struggling)
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 21:27, closed)

Years of studying music alongside such ladies...
sadly proves that they do not.

Perhaps, being a pianist as well, I was considered some sort of shadowy interloper?
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 29 Jun 2010, 22:51, closed)

could be
your aftershave.

I'm pretty hopeless on a guitar, but I have one or two little ditties that I have precticed the living days lights out of, and can sort of give the impression I'm much better than I am.

In my wilder days, before marriage and kids, this led to the occasional success.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 10:45, closed)

Every time I hear Tim Minchin it makes me wish I could play the piano...
I've not been listening to him much lately though, since I've only ever heard or seen him with Nina... and in fact heard of him through her too.

Fuck, everywhere I look there's another painful thing...

*can almost hear Nina shouting "Eeeeemmmooooooo!" and pointing at me*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 30 Jun 2010, 9:59, closed)

Perhaps find a different awesome pianist type comedian for a while to start with...
I can only think of Bill Bailey or, slightly less relevant, Les Dawson at the moment...

Umm...
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 30 Jun 2010, 20:44, closed)