Uplift
A few years ago, I was staying the night in a cheap and cheerful hotel. A travellodge I think. And in my usual way, I was going to open the Bible provided to scribble a note in the front. Just something like 'Signed by the Author', or 'Caution: May inspire extremism'. And so I opened the front cover...

'Don't even think about it. Signed God'

I laughed so much I thought I was going to pass out. Kudos to you, anonymous vandal. It really cheered me up. So ever since then it's become a tradition for me to check any hotel room I stay in for a bible. And if one is there to write something uplifting in the front cover, so some tired bored businessman might smile like I did. It's usually trite or cheesy, I'm no poet and my command of reassuring language is spotty at best.

Past examples have included 'It's not as bad as you think it is. Keep going and everything will improve' or 'There are people in the world who care about you - always remember that'. Other sappy sentimental crap like that. Or my personal favourite of 'If I was here I'd give you a hug'.

The odds are that no-one reads them, but it gives me a little warm glow inside to imagine someone picking up the book to vandalise it, or read it and smile for a moment.

Plus it might make up for all the times I drew moustaches onto virtually every face on a poster I was alone with.
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Sat 9 Oct 2010, 20:46, 4 replies)

Click!
For the "Don't even think about it!" lovely!
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Sat 9 Oct 2010, 20:51, closed)

I also found something like this. Inside was scrawled (as if it was an autograph request) "All the best, love God"

I have continued the tradition by writing this in every Gideon Bible I ever come across.
(Bitter and Twisted, Sun 10 Oct 2010, 20:36, closed)

^^ This
"All the best. Jesus"

This is added to every Gideon's bible I see...
( snee held his breath since, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 14:52, closed)

When I'm in a hotel room I just look for porn
...and once (only once mind you) I actually found some. It was in the Thistle Hotel in Euston.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 Oct 2010, 13:53, closed)