dragging this one out of the suppressed memory vaults
i am also representing a friend's gallery at an art fair tonight. tapping away at my laptop i am trying to look busy and important as i write this, but half the pompous bastards can walk behind me and read it and it's for your eyes only.

so a few months ago i went on holiday with some friends. as you do, we kept bumping into the same people, and we ended up spending most nights drinking with our new friends. which had nothing to do with the fact that this particular group contained some of the hottest finnish eye candy i have ever seen in my life. is there such a thing as an unattractive finn?

well, there is at least one, as you will see if you stick with me, but he is a tiny minority.

we met the boys on the first night because i was propositioned at the bar by the token swamp donkey, a 6'8 streak of piss with a wispy ponytail and a bald head. he was not a promising start, but when his mates came over, we were swayed.

the minger's cousin in particular was absolutely divine, with the bluest eyes and the whitest teeth and the most tousled blond hair you've ever seen. he also had an amazing arse and abs you could slice bread on. we flirted like mad all week, and in the end i went back to his on the last night.

i'm usually an 8 date kind of girl, but this guy was so cute and i was so drunk that i thought there was no harm in a bit of what my friend called "rumpy but no pumpy". after a bit of a tussle with the lock, we fell in through his bedroom door and onto the bed.

at first it was lovely, he knew what to say and what to do, and i was considering shaving a few dates off the minimum (like 7), but gradually i became aware of a rhythmic creaking in the corner of the room. i tried to sit up but finnishboy had his hands up my top and he wasn't letting go. i strained my eyes over his (tanned muscular) shoulder. couldn't see anything in the gloom. relaxed.

and then, just as things were getting more interesting, i heard it. slightly laboured, quickening breathing. coming from the wardrobe. i screamed and covered the DDs with my hands. finnishboy groaned and rolled off me, asking what the matter was. i pointed at the wardrobe with a shaking hand, clutching the duvet to me.

finnishboy got off the bed and calmly opened the wardrobe door. we both stared in what i assumed was shock and horror at his skinny lanky cousin bent double in the wardrobe.

some rapidfire and rather guttural finnish ensured, during which i assumed my boy was threatening to cut off his cousin's head and rape his oesophagus. but no.

instead, he turned to me, shrugged, and said with a horrible calm, "he is sorry you saw him, but he wants to know if he can join in."

who the FUCK wants to do that with their own cousin?? for god's sake. obviously i told them both to fuck the fuck off, at which point finnishboy shrugged and said,

"in that case, he says.... can he just watch?"

length? about 6'8 of lanky streaky finnish inbred incestuous piss. girth? didn't hang around to find out!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Oct 2007, 22:07, 4 replies)

Why!
It could only happen to you!
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 8:32, closed)

Sadly,
There are a lot of Finns like that. And having a threesome with your own cousin is about normal as well...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 9:14, closed)

Finn-cest
By some freakish happenstance, perhaps incest in Finland leads to beauty rather than hideous deformity?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 10:07, closed)

This could only ever happen to you :D
Another classic fuck-bunny story from the swipe :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 10:21, closed)