My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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Special deliveryMy dad gets up early to walk his beloved dog everyday (fear not, for this isn't a man-canine masturbation tale and you may read on). Anyway, somewhat misled by the fact that our back garden gate was always swinging open no matter how much he was sure that he'd locked it the night before, he decided to get up extra early one day and catch the crafty culprit.
Again, that gate swung about in the wind. Walking through it (muttering bugger and fuck as he went), he glanced through the window of our shed (which it must be said was remarkably warm and comfortable). Therein lay the paperboy, furiously nudging a spunk slug from his tiny semi-erect cock as he had done every day for two months in some kind of morning-shed-wank ritual.
I don't know what his house was like, but if you're so uncomfortable shaking one out in your own house that you need to do it in someone else's garden then may pity fall upon you.
He quit that afternoon, the twat.
(, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 18:10, Reply)
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