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This is a question War

Pooflake says: Tell us your stories of conflict. From the pettiest row that got out of hand, through full blown battles involving mass brawls and destruction to your real war / army stories.

(, Thu 31 May 2012, 11:55)
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I'm a nure on a busy orthopaedic ward in Liverpool
Every moron that gets shot, stabbed, beaten to a pulp etc. in the city centre comes my way at some point. When their idiot friends come in it's all "Didn't fackin 'urt", "I'll fackin' 'ave 'im" and so on. Give it ten minutes and they're the first to be crying into their pillows for oramorph/mum.

I've seen 90 year old men dying of cancer (while suffering the agony of a broken femur) take it quietly and with more dignity than I'd muster in that state. THAT's tough.

Any prick who thinks throwing a punch or twelve or blowing someone's foot off with a shotgun makes you 'hard' needs to take a look at people who genuinely fucking well are and THEN compare themselves.

Oh yeah, something (relatively) humerous. I've met one lad whose ex-girlfriend has an 18 month old son to him, has an ex(as of two weeks ago) girlfriend who found out last week was pregnant and has recently started going out with his latest girlfriend. As he's going to be laid up for a few weeks I can't to find out the what happens when they invariably meet at the same time should be an interesting 'conflict'.

tl;dr Scallies aren't tough and sometimes hospitals can get like the Jeremy Kyle show.
(, Thu 31 May 2012, 17:35, 12 replies)
I fucking hate nures.

(, Thu 31 May 2012, 17:46, closed)
I fail to see what having a pregnant ex
has to do with arm bones.
(, Thu 31 May 2012, 17:57, closed)
I only read as far as 'nure'. I hate nures.

(, Thu 31 May 2012, 18:51, closed)
Trauma & Orthopaedics
is a catch all Specialty*.

*Speciality, obviously, but I'm forced to spell it wrong.
(, Thu 31 May 2012, 20:04, closed)

re n
(, Thu 31 May 2012, 20:10, closed)
nure! nure!
have i had my tea yet?
(, Thu 31 May 2012, 20:29, closed)
you sound like a shit nure
maybe one day you'll be the moron that gets attacked and maybe shot, stabbed and beaten to a pulp.
let's see how you like it when you're treated, and i use the word lightly, by a judgmental nure
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 3:39, closed)
I hope the other nures let this nure drown on its own nure innards.

(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 8:25, closed)
So you're a
man nure?
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 10:52, closed)
Aside from you being a 'nure',
why do your Liverpudlian patients all appear to have Cockerknee accents?
I think you'll find that the Scouse pronunciation of "fucking" is closer to a clearing of the throat immediately followed by "huk'n".
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:48, closed)
I would have been a nurse
but the extra 's' is on back order. Stores wont send one out for a few weeks. As for the pronunciation of 'fucking', I've heard a lot of variations. This one was just one that came to mind when thinking of one particulary delightful chap.
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:56, closed)
What's the definition of 'double-blind testing'?
Two Orthopaedic surgeons looking at an ECG.
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 18:49, closed)

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