WeddingsAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us your wedding stories.
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chthonic, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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Meet the twuntsOkay I have two
The first was at my mates fucked up wedding. His family are weirdos and nazis rolled in to one. His Dad recently said to me about the make poverty history campaign that we shouldn't teach "the blacks" how to read or they'll steal our jobs! WTF? Anyway, for some reason his nasty, overbearing, bigot of a mum decides she's going to do a speech and read some of her poetry at the reception. Her speech went as follows:
"...... but I've always tried to teach my son the following values
Love many,
Trust few,
But always paddel,
Your own canoe.
Alone in the room I burst out laughing and then couldn't stop. I proceeded to snort and cry my way through the remainder of the speeches. I'm currently not allowed to enter my friends paternal home.
The second story isn't technically a wedding story but one from an engagment "do". My drunken friend rugby tackled me while I was sitting in a chair. The result was two broken ribs, also I passed out and apparently wasn't breathing for about a minute. Result.
Edit: Oh, and at my cousins wedding the shite DJ decided that the music for the bride and groom to dance to alone (you know the sloppy intimate dance) should be Celebration by Kool and the Gang. Watching the groom and bride try to dance to this was a sight. Har har.
(, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 2:27, Reply)
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