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This is a question Weddings

Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us your wedding stories.

(, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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Pikey Wedding
I was invited to the wedding of a member of one of my home town's largest criminal families - as I was very matey with bride's brother.
The bride was 17, the groom 30.
She was obviously knocked up.
He was at least 22 stone.
All went very smoothly until the grooms mates thought they'd help themselves to the wedding cake using their hands, before the happy couple had cut it. The bride's family took umbridge to this, particularly the bride's brother who promptly plunged the cake cutting knife into the best mans stomach. All hell broke loose with chairs, tables, bottles, glasses and cutlery being thrown in a scene reminiscent of a wild west saloon brawl. My most lasting memories of the evening had to be the bride slipping over on the best mans rapidly pooling blood - concussing herself and the brides father lovingly stamping on his new son-in-law's head whilst screaming 'Cunt! Cunt!'
I took French leave of the situation before the plod arrived.
(, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 9:13, Reply)

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