WeddingsAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in-fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us your wedding stories.
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chthonic, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 15:19)
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G/f sister's wedding in a village hall somewhereReception going nicely, getting a bit 'happy'. 3 of us decide to have a break from the heat and music and go outside for a fag and a piss.
We walk up to a waist-height concrete garden fence with some bushes sticking up behind it (perfect for a quick pee). One of the others takes it one step further and places one hand on top of the fence and vaults over. Just beyond the point of no return he stops (cartoon style), his jaw drops .... and he disappears!
It was a fucking railway bridge!
(the 'bushes' were, in fact, the tops of some rather tall trees). Fortunately he was not in the middle of the bridge and landed half way down the embankment, crashed through the undergrowth down to the lines.
He reappeared covered in scratches and foliage and when we ascertained that he was ok we all found this hysterical.
Regained composure enough to return to the party only to be confronted by g/f's mother (Hyacinth Bucket) lying in the middle of the dance floor, dress around her shoulders and another mate lying on top in full missionary position! (they had fallen over dancing) - what an image. Had to go for another piss/fag.
(, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:18, Reply)
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