Canadian wedding
We're in the church of a very small town (population about 150), the guests are seated in the pews, the groom and his guys are standing at the front and pretending that they didn't get wasted and have a massive punch-up the night before, everything's set for the bride's entrance (f'narr f'narr). Seated at the piano is an old lady who begins playing Pachelbel's Canon in D, as is traditional, and the bridesmaids start filing in.

Then, as the last note of the Canon fades away, the old lady flicks the page on her sheet music and begins to play a second tune and an obese aunt in very casual clothes stands up. And I'm thinking, "Hang on, I know th- oh god, they're not going to- oh, they are". The aunt begins singing:

"Look into my heart, you will see what you mean to me..."

They didn't just do the first verse and chorus either, they did the whole song, even the "There's no love like your love" middle eight and everything. I spent the entire time trying not to betray any emotion on my face, while inside I was a whirlwind of horror, hilarity and not a little emotion - it was kind of beautiful, after all.

Oh, and the bride and groom's dog's outfit cost more than mine :(
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 16:39, 9 replies)

Good use of football manager tense switching.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 14 Nov 2014, 18:40, closed)

Dammit
I was determined not to do that but it got away from me at the end
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 18:54, closed)

no doubt the wedding album contains a tastefully artful shot or two
of the figures from the top of the cake inserted into the bride's mimsy
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Sat 15 Nov 2014, 22:13, closed)

Clicken dis

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 17 Nov 2014, 9:51, closed)

LOL
you kids and your 'edgy' humour
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 11:41, closed)