Weddings Part IIAttending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.
Tell us more of your wedding stories.
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chthonic, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:10)
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I had a surprisingly vivid dream last nightin which I was walking past a shop in the Thistle Centre in Stirling (I think it was supposed to be Top Man, although it was exactly where John Menzies used to be) and saw that it was closed down and the windows were covered over. But on the door was a big sign saying "Steven Spielberg presents b3ta.com" and some small print. I went towards the automatic door, and it slid open.
Inside, the place was empty of shelves and gondolas. On every piece of bare wall, someone had stuck sheets of A4 - some blank, some with faded colour printouts of parts of Freebase's face and torso, forming numerous giant Freebase collages across the cavernous, empty interior of the shop.
A b3tan of my acquaintance was standing there, looking pleased with himself and slightly unhinged. I don't recall any of the details of our subsequent conversation, but the gist was that this was his way of taking the piss out of the shitfest /board has turned into.
At this point, I was thinking but we don't know any other b3ta people in this area, so it's a weirdly elaborate in-joke that nobody's going to get, and I don't even live here anymore.
Then potential customers kept coming in and looking around, utterly bemused, and I found myself explaining to them that the shop was closed, and all this was a private joke, and that they'd probably better leave because they wouldn't understand it and there was nothing to buy anyway, and they all went away again, confused and slightly angry.
Then I woke up.
Fuck-all to do with weddings, but it was a pretty good dream metaphor for b3ta.
(, Thu 20 Nov 2014, 22:30, 5 replies)
was there a bookshop opposite dealing purely with Last of the Summer Wine erotic fan fiction?
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$$ ✅, Thu 20 Nov 2014, 22:36,
closed)
Sadly my alarm went off before I went there,but I like to think there was.
If you could continue my dream, I would be most grateful.
(, Thu 20 Nov 2014, 22:39, closed)
was there a seedy-looking police box outside, burning for no explained reason?
(, Thu 20 Nov 2014, 23:50, closed)
It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it(, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 9:05, closed)
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