Prominent memories
The first time was when my mother discovered a heap of stiff and spackled socks under my bed alongside a gentleman's magazine featuring explicit material. That wasn't her concern, however. What perturbed her more was that I had made 'underwear' for the naked ladies from pieces of coloured paper so that I could derive more enjoyment by undressing them myself. On that occasion, she suggested a psychiatrist.

The next occasion was when a famiy friend reported to her that I had been spotted in the local woods crouching in a bush in a camouflage jacket with my face made up in camo-paint and clutching a Rambo knife (the one with the compass and sewing kit in the handle and a jagged upper edge). She thought I was going to grow up to be a serial killer and suggested that I see a psychiatrist.

The final occasion was when my dad asked me if I was gay because I seemed to be spending a lot of time reading books at home. I was revising for my A levels. He gave me money and told me to get down the pub to find a woman to "look after me". I spent the money on more coloured paper for porn underwear and a sharpening stone for my Rambo knife.
(frankspencer, Fri 20 Apr 2007, 12:17, Reply)