I met a weirdo on the interwebNow, I've met lots of nice people on the internet - but it's the weird ones that stick in your mind. Such as the guy who borrowed a film off me in Cambridge and turned out to be so smelly, so hairy, so nervous and, well, so downright needy that I've never bothered getting it back.
Tell us about the strange people you've met on the internet.
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chthonic, Fri 17 Mar 2006, 9:31)
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These stories are so greatI feel the need to post more. This is very cathartic...
This story concerns some old neighbours of mine, we're going back about 8 years now. He was a young geeky virgin from the UK who'd met his American bride on t'Internet. She was the most annoying bint I've ever had the misfortune to meet in a confined space. She bought a doughnut maker and if you were unlucky enough to be lured into their flat she would try and force feed you doughnuts. Yum, you may think, but when the queasies kicked in after 10 of the buggers and you had to decline the offer of more, she would sulk big time. Think Mrs. Doyle but a million times worse.
Also, picture this: He was a weed with a classic computer geek style. She looked like the left back from the US Butch Dyke hockey team. Scary. She wasn't even smiley enough to compensate for the fact that she was ugly as fuck, and her personality DEFINITELY didn't make up for it...
Anyway, she went back to the US for a little while to finish up at uni. Great, we think, peace and fucking quiet for a while. Until one night there's a knock on our door and when I open it, the geek is standing there. In tears. Apparently she has just informed him via MSN that she's been having an affair with someone at uni, so obviously (especially because of his young virgin heart) he's devastated. However, I don't deal with it very well, and it's all I can do to fight back the pantwetting laughter. Not that I was laughing at him, you understand - it was the thought of someone finding this annoying ugly bint attractive enough to shag that caused my mirth to rise.
So I did what any good neighbour does: I got my boyfriend at the time to come and sort it out ("I think this would be better done man-to-man") while I retired to the bedroom to chuckle myself stupid...
I can't remember what happened to them after that. If they're still together he's probably tied up in the cupboard being forcefed doughnuts...
(I make no apologies for length, BTW. Never have, never will.)
(, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 11:45, Reply)
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