What they don’t tell you
I have been on a few blind dates with people I’ve met over the web… what these online dating agencies never, ever tell you is that all the men you actually meet (despite what it says on their resumes) will be deeply, deeply short ….

Oh, and also socially dysfunctional…

An example: We met outside a large firm of accountants in the West-End because he had worked there and it was “the only place [he] knew in London” (despite, as it turned out, having lived there for many years). I was to recognise him by his favourite white polo shirt. This was an inspired bit of information as I wouldn’t have recognised the portly five-footer by his web-description of athletic, six-foot sports freak …

We met at 3 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. I suggested we pop across the road to the nearest bar for a drink. But, oh no! He couldn’t do that as that particular bar held “very traumatic memories” for him (possibly he had been spurned by some other shrewd woman there)… “WTF?” I thought, but agreed to go further a field … There followed a desperate troll round the pubs of the West-End searching for a bar with a free seat because he refused to stand up in a pub (“It’s just not civilised”)…

After a fruitless search he turned to me and said; “Let’s just go straight to Pizza Express.” This might not seem like an odd demand, save that it was 3.30 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon (I felt like I’d just had lunch) and we had not discussed eating, let alone where … But, my motto being “acquiescence in all things”, I went along with it and tried to force down a pizza I wasn’t at all in the mood to stomach …

The conversation over dinner went from bad to worse … First we discussed politics. I don’t mind people having different politics from me, but when they are to the right of Hitler it tends to jar badly with my to the left of Kier Hardie views … The low point was when we began to discuss the films we hated most. I waxed lyrical for some minutes on the total and utter crapness of Forest Gump, a film I really do HATE more than life itself … there was a silence followed by him saying in a small voice, “well, it’s my very favourite film, but anyhow …”

To sum up, we were really not suited and so I was more than a little surprised when, as I tired to hurriedly squeeze through the barriers at the tube before he could lunge, he expressed a wish to do it all again as soon as possible…. Men are strange …
(parsnipsoup, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 10:02, Reply)