When wiping my bum
It is imperative that I peel off exactly 5 sheets of Andrex, gently ball them into a botty cloud and dab them in increasingly complex geometric patterns around the shredded rim of the nipsy.

Whilst wearing my special green slippers.
(wrigglesworth, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:36, 4 replies)

when you say 'dab them in increasingly complex geometric patterns around the shredded rim of the nipsy.'
what you mean is smearing shit around until you are bored or it has dried
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 18:12, closed)

Yes
Exactly.
(wrigglesworth, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 15:39, closed)

You know....
....this is in some strange way the most poetic posting I have read so far in this thread.

Even though it is about shit.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 20:49, closed)