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This is a question Weird Rituals

David Cameron holds in his piss in order to concentrate. What weird borderline OCD shit do you do and why?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:17)
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This question is now closed.

I would have to say
that since the relaxation of certain international frontier rituals pertaining to the implementation of the Schengen Agreement, I have noticed a marked absence of weird borderline OCD/ritual behaviour between most European nations.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 12:19, Reply)
When making tea
I "shake off the drips" by tapping the mug to the initial 5 beats of the Terminator theme tune.

Du du du duu duuu.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 11:56, 2 replies)
I adjust my glasses on my face
Even when I'm not wearing them.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 11:16, 6 replies)
Irrational, and daft.
I can't help it, and I really wish I could stop it. Why is it, every time I encounter an automatic door, I feel compelled to pretend to force-push it open with a wave of my hand?
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 10:13, 1 reply)
When I lived with my parents, I couldn't sleep if the bedroom door was shut but as soon as I got my own place, and ever since, I can't sleep if the bedroom door is left open.

I've never been able to explain this.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 10:10, 3 replies)
Toilet seat
Not sure why, but if I share a house/office etc with someone who hates to see the toilet seat left up, I just cannot prevent myself from leaving it up at every opportunity.

In previous jobs, when there have been separate loos for chaps and chappesses, and if I'm last to leave the building, I would put all the seats up in the ladies* last thing at night.

OCD, or just a cunt?

*ok wise folk of b3ta, you tell me where the apostrophe belongs?
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 7:46, 9 replies)
Light switches
Pairs of switches have to match, both up or both down, end of story. Except it's not.

At work we have a pair of light switches on the landing: one for the landing light, one for the stairwell. At the bottom of the stairs is another pair: one for the hall, the other also for the stairwell. With all three lights on, the world is a happy place as each pair of switches matches. But at going home time we have a twitch-inducing problem....

Turn landing and stairwell light off, and have a matching pair upstairs, only to leave an unmatching pair downstairs (or leave a light on overnight? No chance!).

The solution is this: to turn the landing light off, leaving the stairwell light on - this must be done by touch, so one can neither see nor feel that this pair is 'unmatched'. Then go downstairs without a glance back, turning both switches off downstairs. This way, if anyone should happen to climb over the security fencing during the night and look through the windows, they will only see matching pairs of switches.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 7:36, 1 reply)
when i know
I'm going to meet a lady, whether for a meal or just a quiet drink/hardcore bonking session, I trim my pubic hair.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 5:09, 7 replies)
Pajamas, counting, and laser fingers
When I was a kid I always put my pyjama top on first, then the pajama bottoms, left foot then right which were more comfortable.

I started counting in repeats of 3, up to 12. Then at some point it leapt to sixes, and I would go through periods of counting on the fingers of one hand up to 24, except I would have to touch each finger an even number of times, which meant counting to 120 over and over.

I would imagine a laser coming from my finger and would count the number of cuts through some object or line, like a pole, or a door jamb.

Riding a bike over pavement, I would count the cracks in 3's up to 24 (twice for the whole bike, one for each wheel)

I always stepped with my left foot first, especially on stairs, and tried to step onto a floor with my right foot. I would always try to keep the number of steps I took even, and would scuff my foot against the ground, or do a little hop, if I thought I was uneven.

When I smoked, I always turned the cigarette so the little logo was the right way up, and I would always blow 12 smoke rings. When I quit smoking, I still had the urge to blow air out of my mouth, and I would make little squibby farting noises which drove my girlfriend nuts.

I still count on my fingers sometimes, but that's it.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 3:48, Reply)
Bit of a cheeky pea, but what the hell.
I have to refer to it as 'CDO'.
I like the letters in alphabetical order...
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 1:58, 1 reply)
I have COD.
If the items on my desk aren't in exactly the right plaice it makes me flounder.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 1:32, 7 replies)
I am minded to eat a banana.
when I am hungry. for fruit.
(, Sat 17 Dec 2011, 1:13, 1 reply)
i just cant bring myself to find /talk entertaining

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 23:48, 14 replies)
I have this weird ritual...
Every night before I go to bed, I ask my invisible friend to bring me joy, or money, or a car.

Then, on Sunday, I go to a big building with all my friends and we ask our invisible friend (on his day off) for more stuff and other stupid things.

It doesn't really work, though. I think it's because he's too busy giving people cancer and starving black people.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 23:33, 9 replies)
if i find myself going upstairs after going through a door, i try and get to the top of the stairs before the door closes.
if the stairs are particularly long, and the door is on a strong spring, i'll content myself with getting to the top of the first flight.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 23:20, 2 replies)
i add water to my fruit based cordial drinks
it helps me concentrate
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 23:17, 3 replies)
I know it's stupid, but...
I can't watch as a loved one drives/sails/walks into the distance. I'm convinced they'll never come back if I watch them until they disappear.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 23:13, 1 reply)
I have to refer to it as 'CDO'
I like the letters in alphabetical order...
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 22:26, 5 replies)
when i were young
everything i touched with one hand had to be touched with the other.

i had to be careful that when walking that i did not cross an imaginary intersection between 2 points of interest, eg, a lamp post or where a curb ends.

when i did speed i used to lick the inside of my teeth at the bottom front, so much that my tongue used to bleed.

I was well weird. Most issues are gone now... I think... or I do not notice them.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 22:21, Reply)
Not me, but
I have noticed a lot of people are unable to type any sentence without ending with 'LOL'.
Makes me want to get stabby.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 21:14, 4 replies)
When eating a banana.
I have to open it then, holding it in my right hand push my mouth down onto it by pushing my left hand onto the back of my head. I think I must have learned it from Uncle Ian because I always think of him when I do it.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 19:36, Reply)
over and over and over and over

like a monkey with a miniture.. thingy

*summer break*

over and over and over and over.

(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 18:47, 10 replies)
when i finish with a prostitute
i always have to make sure that they are nice and clean and have no jizz left on them or any hair for that matter it make me feel better knowing that forensics will have a hard time
oh and i always leave a fiver in there left hand, don't know why but wtf is that all about? weired hey?
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 18:31, 4 replies)
Well, it is piss related...
Whilst having a pee, my aim must be at the waters edge at the back of the bowl. This creates an ever growing foam layer which spreads from the waters edge at the front. The only satisfying piss is one that ends as the bubbles completly cover the water. I'm rarely satisfied.

Oh.. and I count stairs. Up and down. It's 13 each way. Every time.


(B3ta Virgin)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 18:23, 8 replies)
I always have to listen to Rock Music in the mornings.
I get very AC/OCD about it.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 17:51, Reply)
I don't know why, but every time I do something

Like I say - I don't know why - that's just me, I suppose.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 17:25, 4 replies)
Hmm. Wonder if this counts
Kid in our class at school used to seemingly randomly go to various girls in the class at morning registration, and just say 'Thank you' to them, and wander off. Just one each day, some days he wouldn't do it at all.

Occasionally he'd do it to the teacher.

He then rather stupidly admitted to one of his friends that in fact that was the person he had been thinking about when he had a wank the previous night. This took about a nanosecond to go round the whole school, and as of the second year of college 5 years later was pretty much still the leading topic of conversation.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:47, 5 replies)
My mate's sister
Can't sleep in a room with an uncovered mirror. She either has to remove them from the room or cover them with cloth or a coat or a sheet or something.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:43, 10 replies)
Colours and week days
Not really a ritual but for some reason I see days as colours whenever I have to plan something or work out a date, I see them as follows:

Monday: Blue (light)
Tuesday: Green
Wednesday: Orange/brown/red (ish)
Thursday: Blue
Friday: Brown
Saturday: Silver/White
Sunday: Blue (again)
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:40, 8 replies)
When wiping my bum
It is imperative that I peel off exactly 5 sheets of Andrex, gently ball them into a botty cloud and dab them in increasingly complex geometric patterns around the shredded rim of the nipsy.

Whilst wearing my special green slippers.
(, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:36, 4 replies)

This question is now closed.

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