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This is a question Weird Rituals

David Cameron holds in his piss in order to concentrate. What weird borderline OCD shit do you do and why?

(, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:17)
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I have CD..
..aah, fuckit, you know the rest by now.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 22:13, Reply)
After eating a boiled egg
I have to stab the bottoms of them. When I was young I was told witches made boats out of them so you have to make sure they can't.

To this day I can't stand to not put holes in the bottoms of the egg shells. Cruel trick by my parents. They made me this way.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 22:08, 7 replies)
Not so much OCD as burgeoning mental health problems.
I went to an all boys religious school (waits for it.....).
Once a week we had chapel.
I fancied myself as a bit of a mind-control expert.
As a form of mass mind-control experimentation every week at chapel I would will people to either stand up or sit down during various parts of the proceedings.

Astoundingly at numerous time during chapel - the hymn, reading and prayers I managed to make (almost) the entire congregation either stand up, sit down or even kneel. The few who didn't were usually chastised by the teachers who I knew I could trust as my mind-control police.
Every week I managed these herculean mental feats with nary a victim even realizing that I was doing it too them. Isn't it lucky I used my powers for mundane and not evil? I often wonder how boring chapel must be without the random stand-up,sit-down sessions I had instigated.
Strangely the only side-effect I ever noticed was a weird "clicking" sound as I performed these incredible mental gymnastics.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 20:55, Reply)
I'm on holiday.

(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 20:32, 11 replies)

years ago I moved to downloading mp3s and now I own 0 CDs.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 20:15, 1 reply)
I don't have COD
Because I don't own a system that runs it.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 19:41, Reply)
Every 2nd Saturday I have to trim about an 5 cm off my pubes.
Cause they are really fast growing and get "stuck" often, which is extremely painful when you try to get them out.
I sometimes think that the energy my body uses to grow hair is what stops me, a relatively inactive person, from going into calorie surplus.
Not really odd but the regularity makes it weird I guess.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 19:38, 2 replies)
Live on your own in a small and battered tent for a month
Through everything the British weather can throw at you with no running water, electricity, internet, TV or radio, while trying to stop the seagulls eating your cheese and worrying that one day you won't be quite fast enough on the half-mile uphill trek to the nearest bog. Then see if you really, really care what order you eat your chips in.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 17:47, 16 replies)
I have MAB.
It's like OCD but Caesar-shifted to stop THEM knowing about it.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 17:44, Reply)
I have a habit of repeating unfunny jokes that have been done to death, much to the annoyance of others.
I also have CDO, Its like OCD, but arranged alphabetically like it should be.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 17:10, 4 replies)
Whenever I hear a hedgehog muttering about bee-bop in the milk isle at Tesco...
...I have to find a floor manager called Bob and slip an over-ripe brie into his coat pocket without him noticing. I then scoot round the isle and come up towards him and say very loudly, but in my head: "Smell you later Bob".

Every single time!
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 16:13, 3 replies)
I have IED.
It's like a normal bomb only it wasn't paid for by the US government like my AK47.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:44, 4 replies)
I'll ask the opposite.
In my mid 40's, I have very few, if any habits.

I sometimes shower, then shave, sometimes shave then shower.

I leave the house between 7.00, and 8.30 am. I get home between 6.15 and 8.00pm. I don't always take the same route to work.

For breakfast, I will have a cup of tea. Or a cup of coffee. Or nothing. Lunch is eaten when I get hungry, which is any time between 11.30am, and 3.00pm

I can't think of anything that I do that could be described as a habit. This is despite the fact I'm married, with kids, and everyone else in the house follow routines.

Is that unusual?

[edit] just thought of one - smoking. It's a 'habit' because that's what people call it, but I smoke between 5 and 30 cigarettes a day.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:31, 16 replies)
could you please ask if it's Thursday yet?

Thanks a lot.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 15:14, 2 replies)
Just remembered this one
Whenever I drink bottled beer and I take the cap off myself, I bend the cap in half between my thumb and forefinger so it looks a bit like a fluted seashell. Or a clunge.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:47, 9 replies)
I have DMC.
It's like OCD, but I'm cutting him up into small pieces and posting them to Joseph Simmons.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 14:01, 4 replies)
I peel oranges in a unique way
Using my Swiss army knife (small blade), I score the skin carefully around the 'equator'. Then I do the 'Greenwich meridian', i.e. pole to pole and back again. Finally I do the meridian at 90 degrees to that.

The skin is now scored into eight equal segments. I peel alternate segments, admiring the beauty of the semi-peeled fruit for a few seconds before peeling off the remaining segments and eating the orange normally.

I've been doing this for many years and, according to Mrs G, it's one of my less annoying habits. She gets really narked when I fold my crip packets into a neat triangle, so I have to save them sometimes and do them when she's not around.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 13:52, 9 replies)
Christmas Ritual
Didn’t really think of anything that I could contribute to QOTW until a conversation with my kids last night about presents reminded me of this.

Every Christmas day since I have had kids I will not let anyone in the family go downstairs to open their Christmas presents until the whole family is up. When the last person does eventually get up I will go down on my own to check if Father Christmas has been (We wouldn’t want to catch him midway through delivery as he might run off and leave half the gifts on his sleigh-ok I really use the time to turn on the tree lights/ put kettle on really but meh). Once my inspection has finished I pop upstairs and looking into the hopeful smiling faces of my kids I open my mouth and say..........

“He’s not been this year, may as well go back to bed”

Before throwing the duvet back over myself and pretending to drop to sleep again. Sadly the eldest has got wise to this (as well as the whole Father Christmas situation which is a bit gutting) but I think I have a few more years of it from the younger two.

I also spend way too much time thinking of gifts the kids could receive if they were naughty. I don’t see the need in using the threat of coal when the idea of a Barnsley FC supporting son receiving a Sheff Weds kit or the picky eater is left a jar of chilli’s (for some bizarre reason the youngest was scared he was going to receive a stack of knitting magazines) can seem like a much worse a fate.

I love being a dad!
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 12:44, 3 replies)

I’m dyslexic as fuck so OCD, DCO, COD, DOC…whatever.

Orderists are all a bit weird.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 12:19, 9 replies)

I have CDO,
Its like OCD, but arranged alphabetically, like it should be.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 12:09, 25 replies)
I have a recently developed ritual where every time I see something to do with the Krankies posted on links
I make the sign of the cross and thank my lucky stars that the story didn't break the week before during the 'Biggest Sexual Regret' QOTW so I didn't have to read a load of made up felching/rimming/fisting/scat/watersports/double penetration stories involving B3tards and the deeply unsettling father/son,husband/wife duo in some seedy Glaswegian swinger's club.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 10:54, 5 replies)
It's not so much an actual ritual but
I enjoy the streets of the city, and will take most opportunities to walk somewhere instead of taking public transport or a cab.

As such, my favourite time to do this is on a wet autumnal evening, or wet spring afternoon, when the rain is hammering down, and everything looks romantic and like it's the backdrop of a cool film noir picture.

Thus I like to pop the collar of my good leather jacket, screw my trilby tight to my head, and line up suitable tunes to walk to - stuff with a good rhythm, a dark, brooding sound, and interesting incidentals - Ultravox I find good, White Lies, some New Model Army, perhaps a little Cure, and some harder-edged digidub.

Now that I've given up smoking there's no longer a permanent fag set in my paw, but it enables me to push my hands deep into my coat pockets and pull it tight around me, as I head through the people and on to my destination, invariably composing bad poetry in my head, about love lost, and opression beneath the grey skies of England.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 10:20, 23 replies)
Whenever I have a long belch
I have to try to say something.
(, Wed 21 Dec 2011, 1:03, 16 replies)
Eating a Twix
It's got to be caramel topping stripped off without breaking the biscuit finger. Then nibble the chocolate from around the edges. Then finally eat the biscuit.
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 23:54, 18 replies)
I cannot look at Daniella Westbrook
without wondering what it would be like to fuck someone up the nose.
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 23:29, 5 replies)
This QotW is so shit
I find myself having to constantly assign all words numericals values (A=1, B=2 etc . ) then work out the lowest prime they are divisible into
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 23:04, 1 reply)
I've got a big, red, GTO,
and everywhere I go, my GTO must go.
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 21:51, 3 replies)
Not sure if it's a ritual as such
But the volume on the TV always has to be on either an even number or a multiple of 5. 1, 3, 7 and 9 can fuck right off.
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 20:49, 4 replies)
When I am driving...
When I am driving, if I see a dog...I bark.
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 20:44, 1 reply)
this lad keeps recording himself singing, it's like ritualistic acid
(, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 19:37, 1 reply)

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