Failing that (or maybe as well as)
Run a pub where rather than having pool tables and fruit machines, there's a bank of Sybians. Use the smallest appendage so nobody has to get undressed, add a thick towel for those that might be a bit squirty and charge £2.50 per minute; maybe a coin-slot timer mechanism on the side like the lights in a snooker hall or those ride-on Postman Pat vans you get outside amusement arcades.

I reckon I'd be fucking raking it in and they'd pay for themselves within a few weeks. I might need to have the men's toilets extended and keep them well stocked with paper. And put up No Wanking signs.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 9:04, 1 reply)

You've put a lot of thought into this, which is worrying
But I like this as a business plan
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Sat 16 Oct 2010, 0:12, closed)