I Fucking Hate HR
.
One place I worked I introduced a new system for rewarding and punishing the support people on the IT helplines. It was the star and the dunces hat.

If you did something particularly well - handled a difficult call, diagnosed and fixed a weird problem and stuff like that - then you were given the Sheriff's Star to wear. A big gaudy plastic thing that let all your co-workers know that you were top-dog for the day. And, as Sheriff, you didn't have to make the tea.

Conversely, if you did something really dumb then you had to wear a big conical Dunces Hat with a big D on it.

It was harmless fun and passed the time. Nobody was immune and even the boss had to wear the dunces hat a few times.

But it had to end. HR got wind of it and I was hauled across the coals, yet again, this time for bullying in the workplace. You see, making someone wear the Dunces Hat impinged on their dignity at work. It could damage their self-esteem and leave the company open to charges of harassment. They completely ignored the fact that it was a fun thing, a way of bonding with the team. They also ignored the fact that nobody had complained.

Humorless twats.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 3:48, 7 replies)

I made something very similar
My team assigned one person each day to monitor the work queues and assign jobs, as we were all distracted with other projects so nobody was paying much attention to the queues.

When you were the queue guy for the day, you knew you would get nothing done at all. Your job was simply to check the queue, and pull the 'assign work' lever (metaphorically speaking) so I produced a little sign to put on your screen so everyone knew who was in charge of work that day.

It was a nameplate holder entitled "Remedy Monkey" (Remedy being the hateful ticketing system) with a fine cartoon monkey operating a computer.

Fucking HR made me take it down and gave me a verbal warning after a black guy joined the team, claiming that he probably considered it racist. I later asked him what he thought on the matter, and told him what HR had told me. He was offended by their assumption, took it up with them and we both received letters of apology.

Still wasn't allowed to put the sign back up though :-(

EDIT: Here's the little fella...


( chart cat has an itch, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 4:02, closed)

please tell me you told them to
"kindly fuck off and keep their noses out of your business"
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 6:08, closed)

Work has never been the same
since it stopped being Personnel i.e. about persons and started being Human Resources i.e. interchangeable work units.

Now everyone hates them and they take it out on the rest of us.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 7:59, closed)

This ^^
Because it's true. I never want to work anywhere that has an HR dept. Ever again...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 14:40, closed)

HR, the bastards........
Its redundancy time at work and when queried on the company online forum, the HR Head said there were no redundancies occurring. When others mentioned how many had gone from their teams, one wag noted that if the Head of HR doesn't know people are being made redundant, then how competent is she to hold that job? ;)

In my first job, many years ago, one of the managers was a top class person and at a work drinks gave this piece of advice to a handful of us young lads.
He said to never to get involved with a woman that is a hooker, a drug addict, a sales rep, or works in HR. Because, he said, you will never get a straight or honest answer out of them ever.
And he was right!
(Sebulba continues to fight evil with evil....., Fri 9 Jan 2009, 8:10, closed)

One place I tempted had something similar
Basically if someone's mobile went off out load, they had to wear this massive sombrero for the rest of the day. Which I thought was brilliant, as having an office working away with one person surrealy in a sombrero is always funny.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Fri 9 Jan 2009, 15:26, closed)

It would be nice if someone kept a lid on workplace bullying where I work.
I dare say that's a bit difficult, however, when said bullying goes all the way to the top.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 10 Jan 2009, 1:56, closed)