Spencer
Got a mate named Spencer (once you get past the twatty name he’s actually a pretty decent fella; just hoping and praying his new flatmate’s named Mark, this would lead to literally minutes of amusement). Anyway, Spencer’s a bit of a dick at the best of times. He seems to spend all his time smoking weed, dreaming up get rich quick schemes, and generally arsing about.

A while back he gave me a call while I was at work. Went like this:

Spencer:”Come up with the best plan ever to get rich!”
Me:”And what would that be, Spence, my man?”
Spencer:”Time travel.”
Me:”Time travel?”
Spencer:”Yeah, time travel.”
- very long pause -
Me:”So are you going to tell me about this invention of yours, Spence?”
Spencer:”This is the genius part, mate. Fuckin’ genius part! I aven’t invented it yet!”
Me:”………………………. ?”
Spencer:”But I’ve decided when I do invent it I’m gonna get me to travel back in time and give it to me so I can have it now and not have to do any work on it! Fuckin’ genius!”
- CLICK !!! -

Like I said, Spencer smokes a lot of weed…
( SpankyHanky, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 14:34, 12 replies)

some people are just idiots
weed or not
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 15:06, closed)

I thought about this yesterday funnily enough, and yeh I smoke a lot of weed.
(Globalnote, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 15:10, closed)

Ontological paradox
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontological_paradox
(lolwhites, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 15:14, closed)

bloody hell

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 16:44, closed)

Time travel is possible!
Just only forwards and very slowly.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 15:37, closed)

^Best thing I've read all week.
Nice one!
(TheColonel, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 16:25, closed)

We are all time travelling
at the rate of one second per second, into the future.

I heard a theory that says if Time-travel is invented, then you wouldn't be able to go into the past, because time travel did not exist then. The furthest back you would be able to go is the point where it became possible.

Makes sense if you think about it.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 17:43, closed)

Someone I was taught by had an interesting theory.
He reckoned that time, like space, has more than one dimension - though because our conscious existence is confined to one linear path in time, we cannot perceive these extra dimensions. It was fully consistent with the existing laws of physics; under this system changing the time-direction of a 1 kg object would require about as much energy as fifty nuclear bombs, so in practical terms it's impossible. He also worked out that if this theory is correct, most of the matter in the universe has a different time-direction to us and is thus impossible to detect - exactly like dark matter.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 19:29, closed)

That pretty much shits all over what I said
you bastard.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Sat 5 Dec 2009, 20:20, closed)

I once new someone called Mark Spencer
true story
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 16:47, closed)

Amongst my 5 year old son's
friends at school are two boys, Max and Spencer. I make the same joke every night and he still doesn't get it.
( Dredger, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 17:00, closed)

He's not the "star" of this, is he?
davidguy.brinkster.net/goaste/livingdolethesitcom.html
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Dec 2009, 19:18, closed)