'I'm in a band'
This isn't really an answer - so apologies in advance.

You see, rather than picking on some band who've made it big, I have to admit that it's the amateurs who get me down. What annoys me most is bands made up of people who are solely in a band for the sake of being in a band. People who seem to just see being in a band as a lifestyle accessory. Making you cool and interesting in the same way one of those charity wristbands apparently makes you caring.

Before you accuse me of being curmudgeonly, allow me to be clear: I have no problem with the concept of being in a band and making music for fun. I've done it, as have many of my friends, some with record contracts etc., and some carrying on without any thoughts of commercial success because they just love what they do. I'm really, really not against the principle. I think it's great to play music and good luck to anyone who does it.

What I am against, is every skinny-jean wearing, low-slung-guitar-wielding wannabe, or ironic-tee-shirt-sporting weekend DJ thinking they're the musical incarnation of Jesus, and must go forth and spread the good word.

I find myself being introduced to people all the time who tell me 'Oh, you should check out our band', or 'I do DJ-ing ', before mentioning any other thing about themselves, then often banging on about the whole thing way beyond my patience threshhold.

It's a hobby, for God's sake. A hobby! No one is here to interview you for the NME. Banging on about your music to everyone who you come into contact with is just self-absorbed and arrogant - not a sign of your passion and genius.

You might claim that it's all due to the desperate need to get publicity and build a following through word of mouth, but please realise that for most people you talk to it's a bit like being doorstepped by an over-aggressive salesman, or sat at a party next to a crazy-eyed evangelical.

Saying that, I do occasionally have fun replying 'Yeah, cool. What do you actually do for a living, though?'
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 15:44, 7 replies)

a short while ago...
I was at work in my little shop when a young gent wandered in dressed in a pair of jeans, a waistcoat, a shirt that looked as though someone had vomited over the printer ink section of Staples and the sort of hat only purchased by heroin addicts who date supermodels (and this was 9.05am on a Monday. The first thing out of his mouth was... "I am in a band".

No shit.! If you had walked in with Louis Walsh's tongue twixt your bum cheeks I would have been less surprised.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:19, closed)

I hear you.
I work at a media training college in Manchester, and the students there are always bringing "bands" in to record in our studios. The place is fucking crawling with people like this, swaggering around the place because they're "just in the studio". If you were "just" in the studio, you wouldn't feel the fucking need to bang on about it every 10 minutes. I get it, you're in a band. So am I. Great. I'm really not that impressed.
( PMGT -Bacon., Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:34, closed)

Ooh, you straight talking Devil you,
So good to hear it, I am so sick of self absorbed arse holes telling me that they are going to be the next big thing, despite them having less talent than my cat! The next "atonal" Lead singer to throw a hissy fit at me gets a custard pie in the face!

Mind you, I am DJ you know... *sniggers*
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 16:34, closed)

People dont care about talent anymore
if you've got a nice pair of skinny jeans
( Glovington, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 18:52, closed)

"Hi! I'm in a band!"
To which the only possible answer is "Neither am I".
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 19:13, closed)

How do you get
a "musician" off your porch?

Pay for the pizza.
(Rsoles, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 19:15, closed)

How many musicians does it
take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, it's quite an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 15:44, closed)