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This is a question Worst Band Ever

If I was in charge of the B3ta fatwa department, we wouldn't be hearing too much from Simply Red in the future. Who's on your musical shit list and why?

(, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 12:00)
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This question is now closed.

Bollocks to Suede, and more specifically, Brett Anderson.

Why did anyone buy their records? Who told him he had a voice worth recording?

He whines the lyrics rather than sings, sounding like a thirteen-year-old adolescent whinging and whimpering because his girlfriend has left him for someone better-looking with a bigger cock.

He also played the media with his whole "Ooh, I could be gay (but I'm definitely not), aren't I interesting?" schtick, when most people were simply trying to work out why he was such a twat.

"We're trash," he sang. No Brett, you're cunts.
(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 1:00, 2 replies)
Toby Keith
Mostly contained on the north american continent there is a great plague. One of my finest creations since the bubonic plague.. until it boiled out of control and is now infecting my current city of choice. It spread from the trailer park society in the south, first the walmart stores, then the rabid nascar fans.. now their music of choice.. "country." Now there is a ton of pop country that while bland is no worse than what the Beatles did in the past.. and then theres toby keith.. with such hits as "whiskey girl", "I love this bar", "beer for my horses", and "courtesy of the red white and blue"
Please don't help this twangy hick spread in whatever corner of the world you are reading this in.. or you too may end up drinking budweiser, driving a pickup, and realizing how maybe your sister is also the woman of your dreams at which point its too late the infection is complete.
(, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 0:48, Reply)
Can I nominate a whole genre?

Fucking Disco.

Fucking D. I. S. C. O.


So much better when covered:
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 23:40, 5 replies)
anyone remember Babybird
With 'You're Gorgeous'? Fucking awful song. Now, in order to satisfy our Brittania Music subscription, it was their album in a broken CD case that we bought. Well I say we, I had nothing to do with it, and after one playing we traded it in,.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 23:24, 5 replies)
Absolutely talentless bint. The only reason she's selling records is because she uses a symbol in her name, which is what Prince tried to do to resurrect his dying career.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 23:20, 2 replies)
Post below on KOL reminded me
Whigfield. Fuck Whigfield. Hours of being subject to arseholed student mares screeching through this from dawn to dusk was a contributing factor in shit-canning higher education.

"Saturday night, ba da ba dee bee doo bee dah"
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 22:14, Reply)
Glenn Branca
I could say just about everything that has hit the mainstream since the late 1980's has been absolute shite because, well, it has been. But that's quite a wide brush, and it's difficult to be specific since nowt stands out as being more shite than the rest of it.


The single most awful thing in my record collection is an utter pile of crap by Glenn Branca entitled "Symphony No 6". Now you may wonder how I came by this. The guy who reviewed it in Q Magazine said it was absolutely wonderful, so I figured WTF, let's give it a go.

So, I get's it home, fire up the hi-fi, put it on the turntable, and hit play. This is basically seven guys with guitars. They pretty much spend the whole of the first side playing "da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum" for 30 minutes. Turn it over, and the other side is more of the same. Now I can handle strange stuff. I can deal with some of Frank Zappa's worst excesses, and I rather like Sheila Chandra's "AboneCroneDrone" in which she mucks around with drones for 40 minutes, but quite what the reviewer saw in what Branca and his buddies were playing, I really don't know.

On the subject of reviews, my favourite was one which appeared in one of the newspaper-type music publications (NME, Sounds, etc... not sure which one it was). It was of a single released by Andrew Ridgeley and it basically read "Inside every one of us there is an Andrew Ridgeley waiting to come out. Fortunately, most of us take a dump every now and again and it's taken care of."
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 22:07, 4 replies)
Dizzee Rascal
I know he's not a band, but he's just fucking noise...
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 21:18, 2 replies)
The Ting Tings
I just fucking hate them.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 20:55, Reply)
Dear Hard-Fi members, but especially the lead singer: please lock yourselves in an iron capsule and fire yourselves into the fucking ocean.

While you're at it, if you could deal with the members of The Enemy as well I won't have to come round and kneecap your mums.

Thank you.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Over 370 stories in and not one person's mentioned ....
The Kaiser Chiefs, Leeds finest bunch of losers.
Words cannot describe how much i hate this mindless toss, their songs could have been written by an 8yr old schoolchild all with the inevitable whhhhooooaaaggghhh here comes the chorus after every verse.
I had the misfortune to walk by them whil'st they played at Glastonbury once. It was the worst moment of my life.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 20:31, Reply)
controversial-florence and the machine
i hate her horrible key changingwithin words her fans who thinks hes teh new best singer ever untiol the next half arsed pop arty band pops along. her cover of you got the love was terrible, and made worse when added to by dizze rascal.
her cover of fleetwood macs the chain at glastonbury is her only saving grace.

also fand of types of music who wont listen to anything else. and immediatly hate a band if they hit the charts, or hate other bands just cos they not what you listen to, open your ears people listen to everything. some is good some are poor. but give it ago and dont eb aslave to your trends.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:56, 1 reply)
Most music played in Starbucks
It's a rare treat these days to pay 2 pound something for a cinnemon latte and finding a comfy chair by the window. It just about makes the musak tolerable. just about
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:07, 2 replies)
So, right, one day in Berlin, back in 1938, all the butchers had a big conference to determine the new standard Aryan sausage.
And Hitler's girlfriends was all like "WTF? Butchers! What's the deal?"
And Adolf says "Wurst Bund, Eva" while he only had one testicle, the other was in the Albert Hall.

Why haven't you fucked off yet?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:41, Reply)
Q. What do you call a woman with three cunts
A. the Black Eyed Peas

That is all.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:29, 9 replies)
The Beautiful twatting South
I hate music with no balls in it, and the BS haven't got one between them. Everything is just so fucking NICE in their world isn't it? Even when they put swearing in a song they make it so teeth achingly nice. If you're going to swear in a song don't make it sound like a playschool sing-a-long. Swears are dirty, and I for one want to keep them that way.

And everyone that listens to them is a cardigan wearing pansy who enjoy long walks and yorkshire terriers, this has been proven by scientists with graphs.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:22, 9 replies)
What the fuck...
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:44, 4 replies)
Twee for Twats
I vote for Fredrika Stahl for somehow managing to epitomise the currently fashionable brand of advert-friendly twee bullshit folk with her stomach-churningly pathetic rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little fucking Star (as heard in the recent Nissan commercial), a song choice so embarrassingly precious that not even a decent singer could pull it off without sounding like a cringingly sentimental bell-end.

But a decent singer she is not. The “care free” style of singing that she is so self-consciously trying to pull off combines with the pained flailing of single syllables until she just sounds like a drunken 11 year old boy whose balls haven’t quite dropped. The result is nauseating in the extreme. Like gorging on an enormous My Little Pony birthday cake and 3 litres of Calpol.

Who buys this absolute guff? Presumably the same menstruating dullards that buy chunky faux mother of pearl jewelery from Dorothy Perkins, litter their IKEA coffee table with copies of Vogue and use a “deliciously quirky” cupcake fridge magnet to attach their yoga schedule to their Activia containing fridge. Safe, pseudo-emotive music for boring, emotionless cunts. I find it more irritating than the most manufactured of Cowell tripe simply for having ideas so far above its station.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:26, 7 replies)
Anything that has been on the front of 'Q' in the last ten years.
If 'Q' love it, chances are it's wank.

The magazine that held a Millennium poll and found that the top two albums 'of all time' were by fucking Radiohead.

Bunch of pretentious ex-student bell-ends writing for pretentious student bell-ends...
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:14, 4 replies)
I can't hear lyrics for some reason (possibly due to wax)
Luckily my filthy mind fills in the blanks. You know that song by Beyonce, the one that starts with her pretending to be a Tellytubby (sp?) - "O-oh, O-oh, O-oh, O-wallah" - I'm sure the bloke sings "Your love-fur is chinchilla" in the rappy bit at the end.

I'm sure her growler is magnificent but are these really the actual lyrics? Really? Perhaps someone can correct me?

Is this even a relevant answer?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:08, 7 replies)
Not so much a band
more a particular song: Save your love by Renee & Renata - I'm sure you could find it on youtube, I'm certainly not going to waste my time looking. I'm sure that Suzie Mathis on Piccadilly Radio in Manchester had it on a permanent loop.

Other than that, it'd have to be The Smiths.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:46, 1 reply)
I was in Germany
for the Oktoberfest some years ago, I had the (mis)fortune of hearing a group of musicians play songs about sausages........they were really awful and definitely the Würst band ever.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:58, 2 replies)
Scouting For Girls
I nearly vomited the first time I heard "She's So Loverley". It is the most generic anti-pop song of the last few years being played by a bunch of boys in t-shirts and blazers. If they genuinely wrote all of those songs then I am amazed that anyone could be satisfied with themself at writing such inane drivel. For fucks sake, McFly and Busted write deeper songs than that!

Anger makes me forget how to write a coherent paragraph, and in about 3 hours time I'll come up with some killer witty stuff to say about them. Ho hum.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:46, 3 replies)
No way no way

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:31, 1 reply)
Justin Beiber
That is all.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:25, 15 replies)
Worst band in the world?
All that shite you like.

It's fucking atrocious. Sounds like the screams of retarded monkeys being raped or the bellows of a bull whose balls are being boiled by bastards.

Give yourself a punch in the face and resolve to do better.

Obviously all the stuff I like is awesome and basically sounds like God kissing an angel on the boobs.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Anthony Worrell Thompson's
gastric band.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:20, Reply)

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