How to measure the size of a banner ad
Back in the days when the internet was still something of a novelty I took the plunge and joined the sales team of a prominent publisher, selling the banner ads on that new fangled web thingy.

It was a fun job but most days were spent trying to educate marketing dinosaurs on the benefits of online advertising to the point where they started to consider us as experts in the field, regularly asking our advice on how best to invest their budget. If you've ever worked in sales, you'll know that reaching this position with your customers is something of the holy grail.

This well-deserved reputation was fatally wounded the day we hired a new executive. I'd like to say she was hired due to her experience and expertise, but in reality she was (as a ex-boss of mine used to say) one for the troops, not for the books. For the sake of this post we'll call her Laura.

Laura was a bit of a looker, but clearly not that bright. The powers that be however decided she was immediately ready to start liaising with some of our key clients.

We kept a close eye on her, hoping she wouldn't do anything to embarrass the team and destroy our reputation.

Things seemed to be going fine, until two odd things started happening.

Firstly, all of her clients starting sending in banner ads of the wrong size and specification. Secondly, Laura could often be found holding a ruler up to her monitor...

*facepalm*
(BinDipper, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:18, 9 replies)

yes; but you measure your cock in pixels.
A needless reply. but I thought of it and so there.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:34, closed)

I've measured my penis in cider cans before
I'm a 440ml can of strongbow if any ladies are interested, though that's length, not girth
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:37, closed)

I'm one of those small heineken cans :(
only its the same girth and has the bevel bits too. )
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:39, closed)

Widget?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:42, closed)

I broke that bit years ago.

(waxdart hello., Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:57, closed)

Ring pull?
arf!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 17:56, closed)

.
That's about 6 inches in case you wanted to know. Being a woman and rubbish at judging lengths I decided one day to measure a can of Carlsberg as a reference point. So now I actually estimate cock size in Carlsbergs.
(mmm....beer, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 20:41, closed)

I have a Crayola crayon.
At least I don't have to wake my girlfriend to have sexy time.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 18:14, closed)

Laura sounds fucking hot

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2010, 16:36, closed)