Double Jeopardy
My first message post *woo* and I hope it brings you yay! So if you are sitting comfortably, I will beguine.
Many moons ago, whilst enjoying those simultaneously marvellous/terrible university years, I was suffering from the age-old problem of The Pre-University GF (PUG).
In a scenario which has undoubtedly been played out innumerable times before and since, I disappeared off to my place of ‘study’ safe in the bizarre apprehension that our post-adolescent mutual-yearning was all powerful, and would carry our flame safely through three years of bacchanalian living.
Obviously, as I imagine anyone reading could attest, this was a fools errand; things eventually deteriorated and eventually the inevitable happened, too much booze turned into too much of everything else.
Unfortunately, come the holidays, there seemed to be no particular rush to recount my misadventures and destroy the relationship with the PUG or upon return to university to recant my terrible ways. So, this double-life existence continued, with a good helping of evil underhand deception. “Hoho” I chortled merrily to myself as I sat with all of my cake whilst eating it…..
But as with most scandalous deeds, this one received a most heinous comeuppance.
Eventually my bravado became too much and for some reason invited PUG to a swanky dinner at university. Clever little bastard move that one. All progressed fantastically well until one of my flatmates and best friends decides to tell PUG about my ‘relationships’ with two lovely young ladies sitting at the next table. (The utter f*cksock – but fair do’s: my bad really).
Now bear in mind this is in a hotel at a dinner for 150+ people, cue the PUG standing up mid-dessert and letting it rip big time. What follows was a twenty minute long rant right through the hotel at full volume, across the dance floor (emptying it of people) and into the car park. I imagine it was seen as most amusing by the majority of the other guests but I (and quite rightly) felt an utter twunt.
After the next day (night spent on floor), I never saw her again.

As a post-script, some months later, I became engaged and the fiancée’s parents announced it in the Times (laaadeeeeeda)(er… we are no longer together btw). Two days after the announcement, I received a very short congratulations card from the PUG’s parents wishing me a happy life. It is still one of the coldest and most sinister things that I have ever had happen *shudder*.

Yours, and apologies for length as always. Snoogins (who, he hopes, has grown up into a lessofatwunt)xxxxx
(Snoogins, Fri 18 Jun 2004, 12:40, Reply)