Fucking Telephone Preference Service.
Telephone Ponce Service more like.

"Hi! This is a chirpy robotic american voice and I'm here to tell you that YOU or ONE OF YOUR FAMILY recently entered a competition although I can't actually say what it might have been and you have WON!!! YAY! OH MY GEE YOU MUST BE SO EXCITED! Please press one if you are stoopid enough to have believed a word I'm saying. NOW!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:23, archived)

From my brief career in telephone market reseach
(I lasted an hour after being told countless times to 'Fuck off') TPS only bars sales calls. Those timesharey dealys and market reseach calls are A OKAY
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:25, archived)

It also only bars calls made from within the UK.

( Lord Gnome, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:27, archived)

^this
We are on TPS but they still get through.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:27, archived)

answerphone is the best thing for these
I have found. (I'm on TPS too)

they never leave messages...
(Dangermouse., Mon 22 Sep 2008, 10:32, archived)

I don't always mind cold calls
because we like to wind them up in this house. We still get calls for a Richard Astley about his trouser accident in work.
( moogy boobles, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 11:49, archived)