Dear Baldmonkey
It is sunny and I am stuck inside doing work. Can you suggest a job that lets me work outside when it's nice, and inside when it's cold and wet?

Lots of love
Pickle
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 11 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Tortoise prostitute
During the winter, Tortioises hibernate, so in the summer, you can let them lick your tits in a field, in Winter, you can snuggle up with them in a hay-filled cardboard box and slip a finger up their cloaca while you gently tug their little scaley cocks.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 May 2009, 9:43, archived)