surely the worst way would have been for him to come in your eye.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

Nah
bursting in on him pounding away at the side of your newborn baby's crib.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

Or waking up to see him, stark naked,
hunched double in the squat position, looming over you, sweat glistening from every pore, his hand pounding away at his love meat which is aimed at your face like a loaded shotgun. You make eye contact, and with a devilish grin he yells, "MORNING SON! BREAKFAST'S UP!" and then darkness.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 12 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

up your arse
would be even worse?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 16:45, archived)