He'd be far too slow
It would be like that scene from The Princess Bride where Carey Elwes defeats Andre the Giant.
( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

I bet you £100
you couldnt even hurt him without using a weapon.

Fat jokes dont count as a weapon either.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

I'd jam my thumbs in his eyes
that would hurt him.
( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

You're nothing but a lavender scented pansy

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

I could punch him in the face
that would hurt him BAD
( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

You couldnt punch a fucking daffodil you emasculated boy-man

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

I could if the pollen didnt make me sick.

( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

He would wrap him in a scarf and then pull one end of it
Making Mykey spin like a top and fall down, dizzy. And scrape his knees.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:29, archived)