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As I was changing the bottle in the office water cooler,
the bottle I was taking out popped out a bit too suddenly, collided with the first aid kit above it and knocked it down onto me. Fortunately I avoided any injury.

But what a bit of irony that would've been. To hurt myself with a first aid kit.

What cases of irony have you experienced? (Apart from rain on your wedding day)
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:06, archived)
I once really needed a spoon

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:07, archived)
Whatever happened to that old man?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:08, archived)
I don't know
I don't care
Leave me alone.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:08, archived)
I can't.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:09, archived)
It's not your fault I suppose
I am /talk's Cassanova.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, archived)
Only when Mykey's not here.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
I might challenge Mykey to a duel
after I've defeated sexface.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:17, archived)
He'd get you in a headlock, sit on you
and make you look a fool.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
He'd be far too slow
It would be like that scene from The Princess Bride where Carey Elwes defeats Andre the Giant.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
I bet you £100
you couldnt even hurt him without using a weapon.

Fat jokes dont count as a weapon either.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:22, archived)
I'd jam my thumbs in his eyes
that would hurt him.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:24, archived)
You're nothing but a lavender scented pansy

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:27, archived)
I could punch him in the face
that would hurt him BAD
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
You couldnt punch a fucking daffodil you emasculated boy-man

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
I could if the pollen didnt make me sick.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
He would wrap him in a scarf and then pull one end of it
Making Mykey spin like a top and fall down, dizzy. And scrape his knees.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
You can't defeat him.
You MUST tie.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
I defeated him yesterday q;

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:28, archived)
SILENCE YOU!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:29, archived)
You can.
If these two tie, Pickle Fatty is executed. So sayeth JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:33, archived)
You should have sold those 10,000 knives
and bought one.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:08, archived)
Or just stabbed some cunt and nicked theirs.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:30, archived)
I ONLY HAVE 9,999 SPOONS, WHERE THE HELL HAS THE OTHER ONE GONE?
C'mon guys, own up, I won't be angry, I just want my spoon back.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
I hope you stapled this to Alanis Morrissette's face
with a note saying THIS IS IRONY. NOT JUST BAD LUCK OR EXCEPTIONALLY POOR CUTLERY MANAGEMENT.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:09, archived)
She thinks sarcastic is the band that stops your knickers falling down

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, archived)
Staple it
to her big, moony forehead.

The fucking cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
Man, that would just be so ironic.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
Fucking horsefaced warbling cunthole.
I can't abide that woman. I want to hit her repeatedly until she doesn't live anymore.

/bad mood blog
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
I like this.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:13, archived)
m
fiery
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:13, archived)
The best thing she ever did was Dogma
bing!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:14, archived)
And also she thanked India.
That was quite nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:16, archived)
What about those dangling carrots?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
Some live lounge-type album I have
Has a version of Ironic on it where she goes "It's like meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beatiful ...... husband"

I would really quite like to hammer a stake into her eye, punctuating each blow with "Him. Being. Gay. Doesn't. Make. It. Any. More. Ironic"

*breathes*
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:14, archived)
Oh man, you should have seen what she was saying about you the other day !
She's got quite a potty mouth on her.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:39, archived)
When trying to get the Chinese launderettes to get the wrinkles out of my shirts

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, archived)
my neighbour said "i hope the families well" over the fence to me the other day
which I found ironic, given that at that moment I was burying her decomposing corpse
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, archived)
I'm surprised she was able to speak.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:14, archived)
quite a restrained response for a zombie, all considered.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:17, archived)
This statement makes little sense,
and is most likely entirely untrue.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
Someone telling someone else to "get a life"
on an internet messageboard.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, archived)
I dressed the bairn in a vest that had the definition of 'lively' printed on the front yesterday,
and the little fucker slept all day.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, archived)
That'll be the ether

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
I saw buns on a shelf in the 24 hour co-op the other day
and on the label on the shelf it said "contains ant". I don't know what that means or whether it constitutes irony.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:11, archived)
I once bought a Meat feast pizza
which had a label on it proclaiming that it was made with vegetarian cheese.

Get to cunting fuck !
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:12, archived)
I bought some peanut butter a few weeks ago
that said on it "not suitable for nut allergy sufferers due to the methods used during production". What methods be those, then?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:15, archived)
the methods of "putting peanuts in"
I despair. My muesli says "may contain nuts" on it.... I mean, forget people being so retarded that they need to warn you that nutty muesli has nuts in, why the guarded warning? Surely, it DOES have fucking nuts in it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:18, archived)
It's like when you buy kids clothes
and the label inside says "Keep away from fire" Really ? There was me thinking if I put a pair of Dora the Explorer pyjamas on my kids they would be able to walk accross the surface of the sun.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:20, archived)
It says that inside my shoes.
"not flameproof equipped"

Really? you fucking surprise me. I always fireproof stuff using Puma trainers.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:22, archived)
The thing that really gives me the fucking rage is these film description things
"Finding Nemo - Contains mild peril and language"

FUCK OFF YOU AMERICAN CUNTS, JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE, JUST DIE, ALL 200 FUCKING MILLION OF YOU. DIE NOW. I'M FUCKING WAITING !!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
I think "mild peril" is a brilliant phrase.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
It is
but it should refer to the journey of a rich tea biscuit, dunked for slightly too long, from drink to mouth. NOT TO A CUNTING FILM YOU SACKS OF PEDANTIC, RIGHT WING, FUNDAMENTAL YANK CAAAAAAAAANTS.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:37, archived)
I love you two, you pair of curmudgeonly old fuckers.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
pfft

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
I like the Schroedinger like uncertainty it brings to everything
This sandwich may or may not contain nuts, until I open the wrapper and collapse the quantum field. At the moment it both does and does not contain nuts.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
haha I'm going to view the labels like this now

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:38, archived)
I bought some nurofen for my nipper, it clearly states from ages 0-2.
The back of the label warns against Driving and operating heavy machinery
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
no Bob the Builder toys then

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:30, archived)
I did some irony this morning.
The Woman insists on buying irony water. It's smelly water you put in your iron. Waste of time and money if you ask me.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:15, archived)
Rain on your wedding day should actually be considered lucky
As it is an ancient symbol of fertility.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:19, archived)
Getting shat on by a bird is good luck I heard
I always used to get the missus to lay a cable on my chest before I went down the bookies.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:20, archived)
D:|

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
I'm kidding I'm kidding!
It was your mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:23, archived)
But you might get wet!

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:21, archived)
I have never experienced any form of irony

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:31, archived)
I could beat your face in with a crowbar if you like.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:32, archived)
I could beat you in the face with a joke about a crow that walks into a bar if you'd like?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:39, archived)