Let us argue about cooking methods,
I cook steak by rubbing my hands together and clamping it between my palms, this takes ten days but if you do it any other way you're dead inside.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

I find that subjecting it to the blast of one good sized lit fart
does it to perfection
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

you're so shit
obviously the only REAL way to cook steak is with a trouser press

all other methods are for screaming nancies
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I cook mine by walking past my food catwalk style. Buy the time I'm past it is usually well done.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

you do it with hair straighteners you great nancy.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

hai che
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

DAMN YOU BOTH!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Har!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

I so have this as a mental image now

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

You should see how I freeze things

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

You straighten your pubes to make a mini-me cock cher
and then you perform a duet. At which point, the thing is frozen.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:41, archived)