I scratched my nose and now it's bleeding

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

I punched my mum and now she's weeing

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I punched my mum once
She had fair warning
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

You cunt
you just flooded Africa
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

It's ok. Your mum's patted together by a muddy spastic house is fine. Well, I say fine, even the poor Afican kids laugh at her house & face that looks like a overused tennis shoe

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

She may look like an overused tennis shoe
but don't you dare say a word about her house. Three mongs died assembling it from their own faeces.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

assfixiation from where your mum dived on them, trying to gobble the goodness from their nutty trouncheons
you won't win. I'm the world's sickest fuck ;P
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

I challenge thee to a duel
beckyjsbx.mybrute.com

Your mum can't play, cos she'd suck all the other contenders up into her windsock vag
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Your mum's cunt is so massive that if you shouted into it, the echo that comes out 15 minutes later would sound like Frankie Howerd doing a sneeze from bouncing around her deformed, Frankenstein's monster of a cervix.
Rocky Once went 12 rounds with her clit and lost. It's so hairy that when you were born you had 3rd degree burns all over your body. Her womb is lined with 70's indian restaurant wallpaper.

;P
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

Her Mum's clit is like a gorilla's fist holding a cock.

( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

I like how deep and sick we go with the 'YM' thing.
Sometimes I wish I wrote down some of the shit we've said to each other :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

It was of the moment
If we wrote it down it would just end up like the baldmonkey podcast.
( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Your mum's face is so nasty, the doctor slapped her twice when you were born
Her cankles are so sludgey that dwarves get stuck in the folds and are there right now, screaming for mercy they know they'll never receive. Her feet are so putrid, the pavement cracks beneath her, most people think it's her astounding weight, but it's the godawful smell that does it really. Her nipples are so hairy, there's long forgotten explorers in there, rooting through the vegetation. She never was so hot on personal hygiene afterall, but don't worry, they eat each time she does, her shovelling technique for food isn't quite perfected yet, so she's classed as a dropper. Her hair, well Italians have mistaken it for spaghetti more than once and tried to boil her head to get at it. That might account for her nose, but I still say there's no excuse for the rest of her face. And her flange, dear me her tumescent rotting fuckhole...If you can imagine a smell more rancid, that spirals up from her gargantuan cunt and chokes innocent passers by with it's withering gasses, I wouldn't like to bear witness. Nothing compares to her flaps.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

*claps* EPIC!

I was actually smacked twice when born because I wasn't crying hard enough :(
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

wins

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

p.s. I don't have one those mybrute thingys :S

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

sign up and get one
they're awfully fun :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

I already play the grownup version of Warcraft. I'm already sad enough...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Oh dear
That's three relatively normal guys I know now that play that thing. Oh the humanity
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 19 May 2009, 11:59, archived)