oh... urm well
if you're asking I guess I could get out my flares.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Distress flares
trousers that burst into multicoloured light when you take them off in front of a Lady.

IN REAL LIFE.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 16:06, archived)