I was asked to audition by a girl to go on it for the last series, I thought about it but then realised it would just ruin my life.
I would just act like a tortoise all the time and call people spastics and get in trouble with The Sun. Although it would be pretty funny to watch.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:15, archived)

It can't be too long now before everyone who wants to be on it has been on it.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)

I think you've got to be a certain type of person to want to do it, and I'm not one of them.
I'm going to be famous for doing stuff, not just sitting around looking pretty for a camera.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)

I'd rather not be famous for anything at all than be on that.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

indeed.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

Although to be fair
I'd rather not be famous for anything at all full stop.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

How boring!
But I'm a big head so :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

I am,
I'm a terrible dullard.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

We might get to see you and Russell Brand in the same room together though
if he still does the after-show discussion programme.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

People would also just accuse me of 'copying' mr Brand. Because no long haired Londoner has ever done anything funny before him, obviously.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:21, archived)

of course not.
you are a more fresh-faced and lovely version of him anyway, he looks a bit rough.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)

woop!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

No!
The two would collide into each other and create some kind of superhuman DG/Brand beast, called Dossell Brums, and will go round smashing Fawlty Towers dvds with a massive broom and attacking mirrors with a lute.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

I would actually like smash things with a lute :D

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

I don't see myself being much of a hit on that either.
I would never do it. NEVER I TELL YOU!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)