I ran 5k after doing a pint of heroin with one of my legs hanging off after a wolf bit me
I did it in 27 mins 40
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

In the snow?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

Bah !

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

i'm doing a half marathon in norway in january in the snow under the northern lights oh god i'm excited

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

you carried me on your back as well because if I remember correctly I really needed a poo and if I walked I would have brownloaved it.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

Oh yes
and we used a hippo to plug your bumhole up so I was carrying you AND a hippo.

Without carrying those and not having had the wolf-bite I think I would have done it in about 5 mins. If I'd not had the Heroin I might have finished half an hour before I started.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

you should have punched him in the head at 26.30
and sprinted off over the finish line spraying shit on everyone
( spacefish bong!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)