you know what they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em
I hate musicals, but they appear to be as popular as ever thanks to bloody Andrew Lloyd Webfeet and Graham Norton and the BBC.

So I thought I'd subvert it from the inside, rewrite the songs and hope no-one in the west end notices. e.g. from The Sound Of Music.

cheap wine and porno
and pasta al forno
Xbox, Bittorrent, and
websites 'abhorrent'

Kung fu films, Astons,
Flash Gordon and Ming,
These are a few of my favourite things,

98 Octane and
Jack Daniels whiskey,
Solder fumes, lasers
and the odd Cornish Piskey

Fighter jets, wispa bars
Dune starring Sting,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Div-X, Nintendo
and first person shooters
80s TV and my
self-built computers

Canadian rockers
who screech when they sing,
These are a few of my favourite things,

When the wine's gone,
When the fuel's out.
When I'm kicked in the 'nads.
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

What would you rewrite if you were given the opportunity?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

this post

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

the world is your oyster
carry on
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

you should use gilgamesh's picard filter

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

emergency kittens are where it's at

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

kittens are never a force for good

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)

this really sucks

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

Why do you like 98 Octane fuel?
does it make your Golf go faster?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

regular 95 unleaded
knocks more. and it's a saab.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

Shell V-power
for my MX5.
/edit - damn that song is going to be stuck in my head now.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

ah good
I currently have some deathmetal screech noise that was sent to me by a Randomburner, but outside of the official apparatus, rattling round my cranium.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

Maybe I'll put some Man of Kin on
that should drive everything else out.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

Gregorian chants FTW
stopping every verse to administer a whack to the head with a wooden board
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

Does your saab not have knock sensors then?
(I wasn't aware saab made an engine big enough to demand 98)
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

my V6 does not
and only 2 oxygen sensors, one of which is out.

The cars at work don't have knock sensors either, they imply knock from piston velocity calculations. Knock sensors ain't everything. Anyway, I'd rather not retard the spark advance on sensing knock if I can not get so much knock in the first place.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

calculating piston velocity?
fucking hell, how do they manage to do that? multiple crank position sensors?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)

neural network in the EMS.
no it's not BS.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

I'm only just learning about ECUs to start with
getting my head around Motronic 1.3, let alone EMS :(
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:58, archived)

Bosch invented CAN
without that I'd not be in my current job.

So Bosch is ace.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

That stuff goes wayyyyy over my head
If I can't solve it with a can of carb cleaner, I'm not interested
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 22:03, archived)

He was a boy of soft demeanour
and he loved his carburettor cleaner
the vapour made a sweet aroma
he sniffed himself into a coma...

(Lacquer Head, Primus)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

Cheap wine? Jack Daniels?
No no no no.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

does it count if I mix my JD with expensive cola?
when I say cheap wine, there is not such thing any more of course in the UK. I mean 'less than £4 a bottle' if I'm lucky.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

Still rough. Both JD and coke.
And less than £4 is cheap wine.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

what's wrong with cheap?
he said low on price, not low on quality.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

i liked it
*touches himself over the I am 16 going on 17 song now*
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

I'd rewrite that ^
www.b3ta.com/talk/2034608

psst... your first verse should be ABAB.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

blimey!
only three years later on, I'm nicking your idea :-) sorry!

p.s. liked yours though :-)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

GLASSCOCK!! ETC
hehehe "Cornish Piskey".
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

lived therer for 6 years
so I figure I'm allowed to reference it....
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)

Egobookmark!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)