if he was Spanish he could get an amiga.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

if he was German
he could get an Amstrad
( minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

if he was a crayfish
he could get an old ibm mainframe
( spacefish bong!, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)