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There's a dear deidre conundrum I'm having trouble getting to the bottom of.
A 22 year old student banged two guys in a week and doesn't know which one the father is. In the first instance: "We had sex, but we did use a condom." When she met up with her ex later that week: "We didn't use a condom."

I just can't figure this one out.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)
There's only one solution to this:
not caring.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

not caringabortion
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)
no that's the solution to not wanting the baby

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)
i dont want those clearly defective genes to continue their reproduction
it is a solution to that
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)
"Does a floppy mean I'm gay?"
"I'm scared of pulling again in case I don't rise to the occasion. I'm 20, very confused at the moment and wondering if I'm gay - which I definitely don't want to be."
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)
wtf

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)
Pffft
Fucking hell.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)
"I don't know if it's being on the small side sexually and worrying about that which is getting me down."
"Lately, I turned down two chances to pull because of this. Am I gay?"

I like the way he's confused Deidre with Mystic Meg.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:37, archived)
Pfft, get a grip, dude.
Just have a wank.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)
Hahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)
Seriously it's like QOTW inside a paper.
"When I finally admitted to my cousin I'd always fancied him, we ended up having the most passionate sex ever."
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)
Ughhhhhhhh

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)
the gypsies have to keep their culture alive somehow

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
the sex was just rubbish before that point,
it's just not the same when you're forced into it.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)
Lovely

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:37, archived)
lol it all leads to incest

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
What kind of action can i do in touching mode and les mode?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)

Nothing new then?
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)
if he was Spanish he could get an amiga.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)
if he was German
he could get an Amstrad
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)
if he was a crayfish
he could get an old ibm mainframe
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)
i bet she's studying media studies

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)
It's a mystery.
They should put the baby between the two men and see which one it crawls to, I'm pretty sure that's legally binding.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)
cut it in half and give them half each

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)
The mother might want a chunk too

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:35, archived)
sloth love chunk

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:47, archived)
Is Deidre's advice to phone her expensive phone lines?

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)
Her advice, cleverly enough is:
"It does sound likely that it would be your ex's baby"
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:35, archived)
I love Deirdre

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)
You take the first girl across the river, and you bring back the baby.
Then you take the wolf across the river and take back the first girl.
Then you take the first bloke across the river and leave him with the wolf.
Then you take the girl across the river.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)
OMG OMG OMG
Little gem tucked away...

"I found a note in my boyfriend's diary saying, 'Dump Fatty' - and he meant me."
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)
Hahahahahahahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
Where are you getting theese rom?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
This keyboard is soo shit.
=(((
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)
Yeh yeh, blame the keyboard
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)
it's totally been your keyboard all along

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:42, archived)
Dear Deidre.
It's all GOLD
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:43, archived)
"I think my husband is into cross dressing"
"I checked his [online] activity and he'd visited a lot of pretty-boy sites."
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)
Well, she shouldn't have been snooping

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
youre not fat :(

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
that brilliant!
I can just picture him admonishing himself the next day for forgetting.
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)
saved him some effort, there.
either that or this is the most cunning plot I've ever heard.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)
hahaha!
i like this guy
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)
fuck all that ive just played an exceptionally lulzy jackson tribute level on little big planet
it doesnt get much better than that
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)
Apparently Michael Jackson is the number one most sensational act of all time on Q
Out of 99. Britney was second.

/listening to cheesy music blog
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:41, archived)
Why only 99?
If it was out of a hundred, would he only come fifth?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)
I'm not sure
I did not decide on the number. It's a good point though.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)
I might do a Deidre thread EVERY DAY

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)
it's good quality internet, right here

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)
it'll never get old
well, unless half a dozen other people decide to copy you and the board is clogged with them but what are the chances of that happening?
(I helped save b3ta! well, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)
Well you heard it here first yo.
New Deidre thread incoming Monday. I don't think they have them on a Sunday :(
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)
there's always Yahoo! Answers

(I helped save b3ta! well, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)
Someone else can have that, I'm not greedy.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
YES.
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/deidre/
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
Yey!

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)
yeah! who needs mike!

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)
Well, me
They are mainly old stories and I don't want to have to buy the Sun just for Deirdre.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)