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I'm drunk and feeling very depressed as I am old.
What has depressed you this weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)
Cigarette brands that make you stink like shit pt 5:
Old Hoesbum
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
Silk Butt

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
Craven A(rse)

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)
People WILL NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE!!
Now I know how CHB feels.

And with that, goodnight.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
die in your sleep you dull prick

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)
I love you.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)
But Gilgamesh! He's got PEOPLE in his HOUSE.
YOU NEED TO KNOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)
Hey, at least you're not Gilgamesh!

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
FUCK OFF DAVE
its been a while
(I helped save b3ta! Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)
Yes it has.
You haven't missed anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)
I have a 21 year old telling me she loves me
yet I'm 31 now and married.

What do I do?
(I helped save b3ta! Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)
See if your wife fancies her?
Then it could work.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)
Ermm I dont think she would
Get on MSN and I'll show you a picture of the said 21 year old :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)
Oh dear
This is unlikely to end well. Mainly due to the marriage thing rather than the age.

Also, I am 31 and am a picture of youthful loveliness. So stop complaining of your great age.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)
Don't tell your wife.

(I helped save b3ta! Randomgazz, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)
Nothing
Its all fantasy. Close her off and go to your wife.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)
neither am I

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)
broadsword's fucking puns

(__, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
The same things.
Except i'm not that old.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)
Well I'm old
Just hit me tonight
(I helped save b3ta! Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)
Okay.
In the face, or in the other parts?
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)
Wherever
Too depressed to care
(I helped save b3ta! Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)
If you are male I shall choose the balls.
If you are female I shall not hit you.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)
Having done a degree which would have guaranteed me a job when I started,
but now having damned me to sitting on my arse for months.
(I helped save b3ta! Randomgazz, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)
Not very much of anything.
I now weigh less than I did weeks ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)