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Something similar with a mini.
A real mini. Not the MASSIVE mini they make now.
I'd strip the whole interior, fit a roll cage for show, spray it BRG... fuck I'd have me a ball. Yee haw. I love chilli,
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:25, archived)
I'd love to have a BRG mini.
I wanted my first car to be one, and someone down the road was selling one, but my parents refused to allow it as they reckoned that I'd crash it and die. Bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:26, archived)
i had one for a year
had to get rid of it and get a family car
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:27, archived)
Haha, get you with your stable family life and all its associated trimmings.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:29, archived)
it is the worst thing that ever happened to me

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:31, archived)
I'm sure your wife feels the same way

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:35, archived)
I appreciate why people love Minis
but really, I wish more people did this to the ADO16, the Mini's bigger brother. Austin 1100/1300 and all the other names it had (Morris, MG, Wolseley, Riley, Vanden Plas...)
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:34, archived)
if i had spare money i'd get a hillman imp
then a mini moke
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:36, archived)
How can you want a Hillman Imp when you could have a Riley Elf?
Imp
Elf
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:39, archived)
SOLD!
Fucking gorgeous.

but the imp has the bonus of being a death trap
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:41, archived)
and of rapidly overheating and cracking its head every 5000 miles.
While the Riley is an ADO 16, meaning you can steal parts from three million austins and the engines are the same ones as in Minis. You can even bolt Metro/Maestro engines straight in if you need more modern reliability.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:43, archived)
want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:44, archived)
Alright Balders, The Austin and Morris were dull, you've seen the Riley
This is the Wolseley and this is the Vanden Plas. You can get a driveable wolseley for about 500 quid.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:49, archived)
i'll stick with the elf

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:51, archived)
Ooh, that does look nice.
It's just a shame that by the time I'm a wealthy forty year old with the time on his hands to take on a project like that, they'll be a seventy years old and mostly made of rust.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:37, archived)
so, in original condition then?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:38, archived)
I'm just trying to think what the equivalent car for my generation will be.
I get the feeling it's a ford fiesta and I'm already driving it.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:39, archived)
it COULD be the smart car
or the figaro
or those new fiats
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:40, archived)
Nah, those are the cars of younger generations than me
I'm working on the basis that Grrr likes cars that are about the same age as he is or slightly older. On that basis, I'd need a car from the late eighties or very early nineties.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:42, archived)
Random googling seems to suggest a DeLorean (which I'd like) or a Mercedes Benz 300E

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:45, archived)
Classics from that period are the Honda CRX, Rover 827
Mercedes W124, Astra GSi and VW Corrado.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:53, archived)
Oooh, the CRX looks a bit shiny.
Merc looks pretty nice as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:58, archived)
There's other classics from the early eighties that ran the whole decade cos they were so good
BMW E30, Merc W126 (especially the SEC), Saab 900 "crocodile"; all of these are going up in price right now, cos they were lusted after by blokes who are now in their early thirties who can afford to pay good money for this stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:01, archived)
What's your thoughts on Toyota Celicas?

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:15, archived)
Ask Sexface, he likes Barbie cars.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:18, archived)
Are you but a wee boy then?
If you want a car from late 80s/early 90s, it's surely going to have to be a mk2 Golf or a 205/309 GTi.
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:46, archived)
Golf Mk II is a year younger than me
Mk III would be his age
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:55, archived)
The cheap shit that the youth of a generation will lust after?
Renault Clio, Citroen AX, R-type Hondas; all that awful electronic junk made out of Kit Kat wrappers with all the style, grace and charm of a drum'n'bass compilation album.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:42, archived)
those appeal to dicks
not the sort of people who would like a classic car in thirty years
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:43, archived)
Oh, the classics of the future will be the Renault Megane with the weird arse
The Fiat Multipla van (cos it's hideous), the Smart cars, the Chrysler PT. The Renault Avantime is already approaching that odd stage of pointless-but-desired where prices are going up even though it's a thirsty slow pig of an MPV.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:46, archived)
i reckon a messed with smart car could be fun
the coupe one
stick a jet engine in it or something
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:50, archived)
This then?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPQIizRp9ck
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:53, archived)
i'd prefer the coupe shape
lower like
lower center of gravity
and not chavvy looking, if possible
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:56, archived)
Holy fucking shit
you just replied to me without some kind of verbal abuse.
Is it because of cars?
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:57, archived)
fuck off you flouncy prick

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:59, archived)
Definitely about the cars.
So which ones do you like?
I like the ones which are coloured blue and have shiney bits on them
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:01, archived)
i like old cars in burgendy or british racing green

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:07, archived)
I wouldn't mind having one of
these

And when I was younger my parents drove a Bronze-Gold Jaguar XJ6
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:09, archived)
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.
A green Jaguar. How original. How cultivated. How discerning. Jesus, what did you do, pick up the My First Book Of Classic Cars and just choose what was on the cover? Fuck. It's like going to the most haute couture restaurant and ordering steak and chips.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:14, archived)
I've always like the e-type
For a 24 year-old is that so wrong?

Edit: I think it's actually more that I like the e-type that you're being a dick, rather than it being an e-type because I believe that if you were offered a chance to buy one at a decent price you'd swallow your misplaced pride and actually buy one
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:16, archived)
The only way I'd buy an e-type is as an investment
and then sell it on to the sort of lazy uncultured swine that think cruising around in a green jag is tasteful. There are plenty of similar period cars that are more interesting (Daimler Dart, Jenson Interceptor) to people who know about cars. And there's no point in owning a classic if you're not going to be a massive snob about it. Being 24 is nothing to do with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:21, archived)
Okay, I admit that I know next to nothing about cars
All I know is that an e-type in racing green looks good, and I know that jaguars are comfortable from my parents owning one.
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:24, archived)
Do bear in mind, he's a massive prick.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:16, archived)
he's such a prick AND a cunt, he might as well go fuck himself.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:22, archived)
Bear in mind that you had a go at me being a beaker
then you started a thread about what you did and what you bought and sold, and when I started to try and engage on a similar topic you act like the bitter little fuckbag you are, and I hold my hands up, admitting that I do now know anything about cars, you call ME and prick and a cunt?

*slow claps* Brilliant show, now kindly fuck off
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:27, archived)
Did your beakerpost ask a question?
Are you trying to discuss a topic you admit to knowing nothing about? Are you getting upset at being an imbecile? The answer here seems yes. Are you playing up to the almost parodic stereotype of the yacht-sailing wannabe lawyer son of jaguar-driving parents who tries to resort to character assassinations to prove a point? Completely. Now fuck off, you're easier to read than the Beano.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:34, archived)
I've never been sailing before, there have been stacks of beakerposts from other people...
And I'm not getting upset, just annoyed at someone who thinks that they can have a crack at me because they don't like what I'm saying.
I've had decent conversations with you before, and I've had threads where there's been not one outburst. All I can do is apologise if I've annoyed you, and that I'll try to be less of a beaker but it's obvious that me trying to be as vitriolic as you is only going to make you more aggressive and tbh I'd rather not drag this into a slanging match any more
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:46, archived)
I'm just trying to get you to have an opinion on shit
stop spouting this vapid nonsense.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:57, archived)
Actually, when I said I know next to nothing about cars,
I actually know Dick about cars
(adam_is_saxy, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 14:08, archived)
This has been emotional.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 14:22, archived)
Z-cars it!!
I used to have a Mini, it was so lovely. The Mini community is awesome too, I used to go to all the big shows and arrange local meets, and still help to run The Mini Forum.
I had to sell my Mini after I got my own place, couldn't afford to run two cars so the fun one had to go :(
If I could have another Mini it'd have to be mint, Z-cars with a 1.6 or 2.0 Vauxhall engine, preferably a Clubby estate or some such sexiness.
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:35, archived)
i'd rally it
they are such fun to drive
bucket seats, bigger engine, light as possible
such fun
and a decent stereo system
i could never hear the last one over the engine
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:39, archived)
I didn't have a stereo in mine
The engine was more fun to listen to :D
I bought mine as a standard 998cc Mayfair, and made a few wee changes: group 2 arches, weller wheels, cream classic bucket seats, and added a "stage 1" kit to the engine - i.e. different carb needle, maniflow cooper freeflow manifold & exhaust, K&N filter (in std airbox).
I loved it so!
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:44, archived)
i didn't have mine long enough to do that stuff
:(
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:47, archived)
Boo :(
I had mine for just over 2 years, it's still going and it's new owner is also on the mini forum. Unfortunately he's put "angel eye" headlights on it, replaced the awesome buckets with the original seats, and... I can barely bring my self to say it... Put NEONS under it :'(
I want it back so I can put it right again!!
Our region did a rolling road shootout once, we got featured in Mini Magazine, and mine won fastest small bore :D
(littlelise - domestically challenged, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 12:49, archived)
I like driving minis
I like how other mini drivers say hello by flashing their lights and bibbing their horns.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:01, archived)
pretty much anyone who owns a car over 15 years old experiences that

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:23, archived)
STOP RUINING IT

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:30, archived)
Ok, it's more Minis than the VW crowd
because the headlights on Beetles never work.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:36, archived)
I loved my Mini
you could park it just about anywhere, but it was scary being on the M25 with a juggernaut either side, wondering if they could see me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Sun 6 Jun 2010, 13:56, archived)
This is going to really upset you,
but that's the sort of thing I'd do as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 14:28, archived)