this doesn't sound like a balanced meal, where is the fruit and vegetables, that salad probably isn't much more than a thin slice of tomato and some transparent lettuce thick with mayonaise
( vladimir, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:08, archived)

the salad is actually a bowl of smokey bacon crisps with salad cream on it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

IF I WANTED VEGETABLES
I'D HAVE PUNCHED MY WIFE IN THE GUT WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:09, archived)

SPROUTSPARSNIPSCABBAGEPURPLESPROUTINGBROCCOLILEMONSSATSUMASDRAGONFRUITCAULIFLOWERCOURGETTEONIONTOMATOESSPAGHETTISQUASHGUAVAGUAVAGUAVADATESAPPLESPARSNIPS
( vladimir, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:12, archived)

LARDYCAKE
is an anagram of LADY GLADE
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

tomorrow is an anagram of yesterday
( vladimir, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:18, archived)

you can't just make vegetables up like that, there are laws you know

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:14, archived)

TURPORD, CAVOLABRESE, EARLY BRASSENTS
( vladimir, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:17, archived)

I'VE CALLED THE CROPS

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 12:26, archived)

THE POLICE WILL TOTALLY FEEL HIS COLLARflower

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:08, archived)

He won't even have time TURNIP to the toilet. (TO NIP to the toilet).

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:12, archived)

HE MIGHT PEA IN HIS TROUSERS

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)

He's BEAN (been) a BERRY (very) naughty SAVOY (boy).

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)

this is a case for Haricot (Hercule) Poire (Poirot) [ [poire is french for pear]
( vladimir, Thu 9 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)