Insomniac here
but I am told that this works very well. Lying still and focusing on relaxing from toes upwards, each inch seperately. It's not so much the relaxing, as being bored shitless that'll send you to sleep
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:32, archived)

I don't know why, but I initially read that as 'relaxing from bees upwards'.
*checks alcohol content of whisky bottle*
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:34, archived)

maybe she's Covered in beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:36, archived)

I like my women like I like my coffee
in a plastic cup
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:39, archived)

Never put a sock in a toaster.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:42, archived)

Hello, we're murderers.
Twix please.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:45, archived)

Went and rang bell with new batteries,
but cat put his paw on bell so it only made a thunk noise. Then cat rang his own bell. I ate food.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:49, archived)

What is it? I'm arranging matches

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 2:59, archived)

Zingelbert Bembledack!
Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! Slut Bunwalla!
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 3:19, archived)

That bit always reminds me
of Rowan Atkinson's Headmaster sketch
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 3:20, archived)

This one?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiWJWLCoH2M
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 3:28, archived)

That's the one

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 3:36, archived)

Orifice.....

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 3:42, archived)