what sort of stories are you gonna have at 14?
Apart from getting sexually abused by your aspergers uncle.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 23:58, archived)

it's that scene from Tommy all over again
with Keith Moon and the rubber tubing
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:00, archived)

My mum fell out with him
I haven't seen him for 5 years
(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:04, archived)

i thought you'd gone?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:05, archived)

What the fuck is this pigster?
I hope its parents strangle it while it sleeps.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:07, archived)

dunno,
He's like freefair crossed with acid kewpie.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:09, archived)

I need a wider screen

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:10, archived)

That's it. Game over man, game over.
CLOSE DOWN THE INTERNETS, WE'RE DONE.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:10, archived)

Thought you'd declared me a troll and weren't gonna speak to me?

(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:08, archived)

woah now,
You're the second person today that's made assumptions about me that are not only baseless but untrue.
I still think you might be a troll, but I never said I wasnt gonna talk to you.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:11, archived)

you should take heed of the advice that has been given to you this evening
regarding acceptable attitudes to partaking in grown-up conversation. no-one has specifically told you to fuck off, we've been trying to help.
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:13, archived)

Grown up conversation?
TRIFLE!!!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:16, archived)

I like trifle
as long as there's no jelly. right, I'm off to bed this time!
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:17, archived)

Helping? Right.
So calling me gay, a troll, old b3ta users who I've never even heard of, stupid, a knobend, knobhead, and then pretending that this is all help? And you say I need to grow up...
(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:25, archived)

Hello pointless unfunny user.
Welcome to this comedy website, I can tell this is going to be special.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:14, archived)

Because he touched you in your no-no place?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:07, archived)

No because him and his wife are total knobheads who completely disowned us one Christmas, to the point where to no aggravation they were pretending we weren't there

(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:18, archived)

Can you really blame him?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 23 Dec 2011, 0:27, archived)