NEWSFLASH
Woman is pregnant!!
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:23, archived)

Officially more important than the impending war with Israel.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:26, archived)

LOOK AT THE SHINY FUCKING COIN
no not that way, never mind that LOOK HERE
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:30, archived)

Can't believe it
That cow told me she was on the pill
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 18:41, archived)

Why would you fuck a cow?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:34, archived)

"His royal highness has regally sploodged his princely man-fat up the princess's ham silo and imperially knocked-up her noble growler"
- Buckingham Palace Press Release
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:03, archived)

/ac
"Oh, ahh, errm, well, golly, ahh, well, yes, erm, me and Kate, err, parents, right, yes, well, thing is, ahh, I just did, you know, my duty, and, ah, well, umm *polite cough* it seems to have worked rather well, ahh, all things considered."

HRH William, earlier today.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:15, archived)

I heard Philip held her agape with gold-plated muffin turners
and Will did a spunky post-wank piss into her from across the palace lawn while they all sang a skrewdriver song.

Just what I heard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:22, archived)

FP THIS NOW

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:22, archived)

Oh
I just heard that William was too nervous and just wanted cuddles but eventually after a hot yerba mate and a long snuggle under his Thomas the Tank quilt the Duchess convinced him to take his pyjama bottoms off and then she gave his little chap a rub-a-dub-dub just like nanny used to in the bath tub only this time his little chap coughed up an embarrassment but it was alright, said the Duchess, she'll just wipe it up and take it to the bathroom and she was in there an awfully long time.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:28, archived)

I heard he bummed a corgi and then she whisked herself off with its frozen cumstools.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:31, archived)

I have it on fact she felched his seed out of their butler's gaping anus before vomiting it over her own muff and rubbing it in with a beefeater hat
The Aristocrats!
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 3 Dec 2012, 19:45, archived)