why not just make up an anecdote?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 3 Sep 2020, 13:27, archived)

it's a click from me!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 3 Sep 2020, 13:27, archived)

Alright then.
This morning, a bloke from the council came round to check which model of electricity meter I had, but he turned out to be mortally allergic to floor polish and started suffocating right in front of me. Luckily my first aid training kicked in and I gave him a tracheotomy with my potato peeler and sent him on his way with a cheery wave.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 3 Sep 2020, 13:35, archived)

this is up to the Mittyish standards of /talk

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 3 Sep 2020, 13:36, archived)

A samurai potato peeler, no fewer

(dribble, Thu 3 Sep 2020, 13:43, archived)

wow, what an eventful morning you've had!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 3 Sep 2020, 13:49, archived)