ffs
it appears we now have a fox living under our shed. The bastard's dug a big fucking hole under it. Anyone know how to get rid of them without inviting the local hunt or shooting it?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:14, archived)

ask the RSPCA?
Dunno lol
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:18, archived)

well you've been a GREAT help

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:31, archived)

might get in touch with my lover, notorious canoe fraudster Ann Darwin and ask her

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:37, archived)

tbh you can fit a lot of foxes in a canoe
then send them down river to become someone else's problem. i think it's worth a punt.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 18:09, archived)

You can push it, you can shove it, you can stomp it with a shoe, but you'll never get a fox in a canoe

(dribble, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 18:53, archived)

still counts
i.imgur.com/Hts975J.png
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 19:25, archived)

Invite jollyjack round for a garden wank
that'll scare it away
(dribble, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:33, archived)

start keeping ducks
and try not to get too attached to them
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:33, archived)

How would feeding it help

(dribble, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:39, archived)

Well, you wait for it to come out and feed and then you jump on it
ducks = bait
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:40, archived)

I thought he was looking for a non violent option
What do you do once you have a handful of fox
(dribble, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:45, archived)

You could always see what it tastes like
if you feel that one pandemic just isn't enough
(dribble, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:49, archived)

Do a shit, push it into the hole
Assert your dominance
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 13:55, archived)

I don't want to kill it m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 14:08, archived)

Foxes in London freak me out tbh
I grew up rural where foxes were a normal part of the landscape, but what the fuck are they doing in the middle of a massive city? It's not natural. They're probably from broken homes, taking drugs. Better off dead mate, it's the humane thing to do.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 14:53, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 15:56, archived)

nah fuck that. fling them left ye leftovers and in a few years we'll be back to having megafauna

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 18:11, archived)

Megafauna in the UK
It's coming sometime and maybe
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 18:12, archived)

you can get smelly stuff that repels foxes, just put some around the shed while it's out
doesn't work, mind
( broadsword, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 14:34, archived)

That's what I said

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 14:47, archived)

foxes only live for about 2 years
just sit back and wait for them to die
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 15:53, archived)

But it might go to seed and sprout dozens of smaller foxes

(dribble, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 16:42, archived)

not enough sunlight under a shed
no chance of that in my expert opinion what with being a hot rhubarb strangler and wily fox wrangler of 37 years
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 18:03, archived)

had a fox under a shed once
didn't cause any probs tbh
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 27 Nov 2020, 15:10, archived)

Lure it out with head and shoulders and toothpaste
And shit. Big pieces of shit.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 28 Nov 2020, 4:36, archived)