I've just been sent a voucher for a free viewing of a movie on Rakuten TV
The list of titles available to watch reminds me of the £1.99 bargain-bin of VHS tapes you'd get in Woolworths, near the checkout, movies I'd never heard of, films to avoid - like the rest of the viewing public.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:42, archived)

imgur.com/n9Ohiov
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:46, archived)

Rakuten executives:
"Let's spend a grand on the rights for LOTR and use the remaining £500 to buy five hundred other films for a pound each."
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:51, archived)

wow!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:51, archived)

Wow. You lucky boy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:57, archived)

imagine having access to all those...at the touch of a button...

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:14, archived)

It truly is the best time to be alive

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:32, archived)

"Echo Boomers"
Did they just use a random word generator to come up with these titles?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:45, archived)

Also, apparently Robin's Wish was to be resurrected as a melting waxy android.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:46, archived)

Guy playing pool in front of some enormous heads

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:12, archived)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:28, archived)

And when I say guy, I mean "giant albino bodybuilding giger cosplayer"

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:57, archived)